I take care of you
by arianna93234
Summary: 1986, first series of Lovejoy, something is different from the tv show, so it is AU. Character death in the first chapter
1. A sad mother to be

Lady Jane Felsham was looking herself into a mirror, her flat stomach began to show a very little bump. She was 20 weeks pregnant. Alexander wasn't really happy, at first he had been angry with Jane for weeks, until he started to ignore the wee thing growing in Jane's womb. While Jane obviously was a mix of shock and happiness.

Lovejoy instead have been taken care of Jane since day when the test came out positive, he actually read test's result, because Jane was in a kind of shock sitting on bathroom's floor. He always slept on Felsham Hall sofa when Alex was away to be with Jane, he rubbed her back and take her hair when morning sickness hit her hardly, he helped her to climb the stairs to her bedroom almost every night when she felt to tired or to weak to climb that fourteen steps to her room.

That night Lovejoy was at home, Alexander just arrived from a trip and he was packing for another one. Jane was painting a panel to put on a cupboard wanted by a rich Russian woman. Jane glanced at the clock, it was 7 o'clock, she was a bit hungry. She stood up too quickly and her head begun to spin, it was a normal thing for Jane during that period, her blood pressure was too low.

She'd gone to the doctor the day before and wanted to show Alex the ultrasound.

"Alex, look at that" said Jane when they were sitting at the table for dinner.

"What is this?"

"It's my ultrasound, our child is growing very well..."

"I don't know what to say, I can't see anything, which of this spots is the child?"

"This one" said Jane putting a finger on the sheet.

"Well, how long are you I don't remember..."

"I am 20 weeks and something along"

"I don't if I could be home for the birth..."

"Why?"

"I don't know about the trips..."

"You can take a little period off, only a week or two, to be sure to be there when it is born" said Jane rubbing gently her baby bump.

"It could be difficult... you could have Lovejoy instead."

"It isn't the same thing I dare say" Jane was on the verge of tears.

Alex got up from the chair and went in their bedroom to make the bag for his trip to Glasgow, he left Jane in the dining room, extremely sad and extremely angry.

Jane was exhausted, she could barely walk to their room. She looked pale, the baby was OK, but her absolutely not, she didn't gain enough weight, she lost 3 kilos with the morning sickness and her blood pressure was too low.

She was in bed with Alexander

"Alex, do you want to see my baby bump?" asked Jane

"Why?"

Jane closed her book, switched of the light on her nightstand and turn her back to Alexander, two tears streamed down her cheek.

Alexander went down another time, Jane knew that he went too often in Glasgow, but she'd never asked anything about his trips, really he had another woman in Glasgow, poor Jane.

The day after Jane woke up with Alexander. She wanted a kiss, only a kiss, even on her forehead she didn't mind, but she needed really a kiss.

"Bye!" Alex left Jane in the hall of the house, she waited until she could see the car, the she collapsed in tears on the carpet, she cried for hours, she thought because when Lovejoy arrived with Tinker she was still here, hair in a mess,eyes red and achy, her back didn't agree with that position, curled on the floor, and the wee reminded Jane its presence in her womb.

"Janey, what's the matter?" asked Lovejoy

"I argued with Alex, he left without a word. I feel awfully" replied Jane

Lovejoy lifted Jane from the floor, lied her down on the sofa, he put a pillow under her feet and finally put a hand on Jane's baby bump. She seemed to relax, Lovejoy's touch was something miraculous.

"It is active this morning..." said Lovejoy rubbing a little Jane's stomach.

"Yes, it is."

Lovejoy and Tinker came to Felsham Hall to pick up Jane to go to Cambridge for an auction. Jane wanted to go with them, she felt good and she wanted to be busy. She couldn't have waited for the birth sitting on the sofa.

Even if Lovejoy wanted that Jane took some rest that day they went together to auction, it was useful for Jane she didn't think at all about Alexander and she was better.

They worked in Lovejoy's shop until 5 in the afternoon, without eating, even if Lovejoy asked about 1000 times Jane if she would be hungry.

"Janey, do you like some tea?" asked Lovejoy when they arrived at Falsham Hall

She nodded, but the phone rang before Lovejoy could put the kettle on.

"Lady Jane Felsham?"

"Lady Jane, I am Alexander's assistant, your husband had a car accident in Glasgow, he is in hospital."

All the colours drain from Jane's face, she felt fainting, Lovejoy grabbed her and put her on the sofa. And she said:"We have to go to Glasgow, come on."

Lovejoy knew that the woman talking to Jane was really the mistress of Alexander.

Lovejoy drove to Glasgow without any stops, he wandered how she could resist with her weak bladder. He looked at her, how tense she was and how would have been tense at night her belly.

In hospital a young doctor introduced herself as Doctor McLaine explain them the injuries and Alexander's general condition. She let Jane see him, she took his hand and put it on the base of her baby bump. The baby gave a little sign of his or her presence.

"Lady Jane, I think is better for you to find an hotel close to the hospital for the night, I don't want you here overnight, in your conditions the best thing you can do now is go to an hotel, have a hot bath and then a lie down. We will see tomorrow"

When Jane went to the bathroom the doctor said Lovejoy:"In case of bad news I inform you at first, I think Lady Jane is a bit upset and a bad news could be dangerous, even she passes the first trimester."

Lovejoy and Lady Jane found a little hotel near the hospital, the concierge said that most of guest were patients' relatives or doctors. He gave them a room with the bathtub, Lovejoy eased Jane on the bed, helped her to take of her jacket and her shoes, then he put a pillow under her feet and went to fill the bathtub.

"Janey, the bath's ready, you can come, do you want an help to undress?"

Jane addressed to the bathroom got undressed and the soaked in the warm water, she felt her nerves relaxed, but she felt her belly quite tense. She thought about Alexander and started to cry.

After 40 minutes Lovejoy knocked at the door of the bathroom, Jane was still crying, her arms were wrapped against her breast, Lovejoy said:"Jane, out of water... We have to eat some diner."

"I am not hungry at all."

"Jane you didn't eat anything from lunch, even only a piece of toast, but the baby needs food, you too"

Jane felt exposed, Lovejoy gave her a towel and took her to the bed, then he called the room service. He ordered sausages and beans for him and tea and toast for Jane.

She was on the bed propped up three pillows and with a pillow under her feet, her ankles swelled when she was tired or stressed or both of them or when she stood up for a too long time. After dinner Lovejoy finally was able to feel Jane's bump. He rest a hand very gently on the top, he felt a little kick, but he was worried, her belly was hard like a stone, he could feel very well her tension.

"Janey, try to relax" said Lovejoy rubbing Jane's ankles, but she was too angry and worried for Alexander to relax.

Jane finally fell asleep, but she tossed and turned all night, until Lovejoy took her in his arms. But in that moment he heard a knock at the door, he prayed when he came to open the door.

"Mr Lovejoy, phone call from the hospital..."

Alexander was dead, lungs faillure.


	2. Many ways of love

Lovejoy went back upstairs thinking how to break the news to Jane. But he didn't need the way to break her the news, she had something like a sixth sense, she knew that Alex was dead.

Jane was wide awake now and said:"Is he dead, isn't he?"

"Yes" said Lovejoy very, very sorry for his friend.

Jane collapsed back on the pillow, silent tears came down her eyes.

Lovejoy left her to cry out her grief, after few minutes Jane stood up but she immediately collapsed against Lovejoy's chest, and there she wiped desperate.

Jane needed help to dress and to put on some make up to mask her dark circle under her eyes.

At the hospital.

Jane felt dizzy while she was walking through the hallway , she didn't want to faint and gave a show, if she hadn't been pregnant she would have drunk a bottle of wine and then collapsed drunk somewhere, but now she had to be strong and firm and her blood pressure had to behave in the right way.

The doctor gave Jane a glass of water and then asked her if she would see her husband, Jane stood up firmly and followed the young woman through a corridor. Lovejoy waited for about 30 minutes sitting on a chair, until the doctor came back and said him:"I examine Jane before you leave, but I can say surely that she has to rest for some days."

Jane came back to Lovejoy and almost collapsed in his arms. " Take me home, please"

"Lady Jane, may I check on you?" asked the young doctor.

Lady Jane didn't protest and followed the doctor in a room.

The doctor closed the door behind them, helped Jane on the examine table and started to ask her some questions.

"So, how long are you?"

"20 weeks and 5 days"

"Have you had any discomfort since last night?"

"No" lied Jane, she actually felt always dizzy and her belly was hard like a stone.

The doctor put on Jane's blouse, then she ran a hand on the length of Jane's stomach pressing a little, so she took a measurement tape.

"Well, you are a little smaller that I expect for a 21 weeks bump, but you are tiny by nature, so it's quite normal. I am a bit concerned about your blood pressure, is very low. Try to drink plenty of water and eat more. Then relax, I know, it isn't easy at all, but it's for your child's sake."

"Yes, doctor."

"Well, I leave you to dress"

Lovejoy was pacing up and down the corridor. He was very worried.

"Mr Lovejoy?"

"Only Lovejoy..."

"Well, Lovejoy, I think you are the only person who could take care of Lady Jane..."

"I'll take care of her and of her baby, I promise"

"Well..."

"Sorry, doctor, but what about that section's pictures they look quite old. And by the way I am an antiques dealer."

"Ask to the office, but I hate them..." the doctor smile a little.

It was a sunny day, mid April, but Jane felt freezing, like January. Lovejoy was on phone with Tinker or Eric, she didn't know, she was sitting in the car, she put both her hands on her little bump and whispered: "Little one, I will take care of you, yes I will take care of you. Because I didn't know until this morning, but I really love you." Lovejoy looked at the scene from the public phone, he waited to go to the car until Jane rested her back against the seat.

"Shall we go Janey?" asked Lovejoy giving her a touch on the cheek.

"Take me home, please" said Jane with very sad eyes and a very heavy heart.

"Jane, try to sleep a little, you need it."

She didn't sleep, she didn't cry, she didn't talk, she didn't eat or drink anything. Finally with Lovejoy's relief she fell asleep near Felsham Hall. She was very upset, in fact Lovejoy didn't wake her when they arrived, instead he took her in his arms and drove her through the door.

Mrs Wilson, the scary housekeeper, was waiting at the door, she opened it when she saw Lovejoy carrying Jane.

"Is she well, isn't her?" asked a bit worried.

"Mrs Wilson, tea and toast, please, she will be OK." said Lovejoy addressing upstairs.

"But the baby?"

"It is well.."

Lovejoy put Jane on her bed, he took of her jacket and her heels, and he asked himself why a pregnant woman wears high heels.

"Where we are?" asked Jane with closed eyes

"Good evening, we've just arrived home. How do you feel?"

"I don't know."

Jane looked around her room, the photos on the dresser, the first one was from Jane's graduation, when Alexander made her the proposal and she almost fainted for the happiness, then the second one, a trip to Italy in 1978, when they fell in love, the third one was a wedding's one, they were absolutely happy. She started to cry, silently, putting a hand on her mouth to stop the sob. She closed her eyes, sudden dizzy, and felt a hand took hers, was Lovejoy's one: "Jane, I am there for you... We are there for you..."  
"Thank you... really Lovejoy..." said Jane with damped lashes.

Mrs Wilson arrived in the room, put the tray on the nightstand and then she walked out wishing goodnight.

"Jane, do you want something to eat?" asked Lovejoy

Jane was hugry but her throat was closed, she tried to eat something, and she managed to eat a piece of toast and half a cup of tea. She still felt a knot in her chest and a noisy discomfort in her lower back.

Lovejoy knew that a cup of tea and a piece of toast weren't enough for a pregnant woman, but he wanted her relaxed so he didn't say anything about

"Jane, now, I think is better for you both to put on your nightgown, then you can sleep properly."

Lovejoy helped her out of her skirt and blouse then he looked at her. She was so small, so tiny. She had also a little bump on her front, her baby.

Then Lovejoy eased her on the pillows and was going to the door when Jane said with a very little voice:"Lovejoy, could you stay with me tonight? I don't feel good enough to stay by my own"

Jane was weak, he could feel it, she was tired, she needed somebody on her side, she was pregnant, but her husband had never taken care at all about Jane and the growing wee thing.

"I need the bathroom, damn bladder..."said Jane getting up too rapidly and feeling immediately dizzy.

"Janey, you have to get up slowly, do you want to faint?" asked Lovejoy, offering his arm to Jane and leading her to the bathroom.

Lovejoy sat in a harmchair while Jane was in the bathroom, she came back with puffy eyes, she cried again, she needed a hug, and Lovejoy took her into his arms and lead her to the bed.

"Janey, I won't leave you." he felt finally Jane relaxed against his chest.

Jane fell asleep almost immediately, but after few hours Lovejoy was waken by a scream. Jane woke up damp of sweat, with the heart pounded and a terrible headache.

"Jane, what's the matter?" asked Lovejoy a bit concerned.

"I had a bad dream, I think... I can't lose it, I can't" said Jane with tears in her eyes and with both hand at the side of her belly.

"Jane, you are not losing it... breath deeply, all will be fine."

"Could you sleep next to me, please?"

He couldn't say no, she was shaking, she looked like a scared child. So he climbed the bed and he went next to Jane, she put her head on his chest, they didn't talk for a very long time, when Lovejoy noted that Jane was still awake he stater to lulled her and after few minutes he heard her breathe deeply, finally she fell asleep

While he was holding her, he put a hand over her rounded belly, it was quite tense, not hard like the previous night, but a little tense.

Lovejoy loved Jane, he'd love her since that night, when they met for the first time, she had guest and she wore that fancy purple dress. He loved her in a platonic way, and he was sure of that. With this idea he fell asleep.


	3. Once we were only Jane & Alex

Flashback chapter!

How Jane and Alexander met and the age when they were only Jane and Alexander.

1978

Jane and Annie were walking to the fair in the town, they were in a little town in Italy but they studied in Oxford.

Jane studied Interior Design while Annie studied Midwifery, totally different field of study, but they were very close friend.

"Jane, I met two boys, last night, when I finished my visit to my aunt."

"Are they English?"

"Yes, they were in the square, they couldn't find the park where they had their tent"

"Were them pleasant?" asked Jane biting her bottom lip.

"Yes..."

"Names?"

"I don't know, but he was with another boy, a rich one, a Alexander, but I don't remember the surname."

"And?"

"We are seeing them tonight!"

"Are you serious Annie? I am not well dressed, I have not any make up on and my hair are in a mess..."

"Yes, I am serious, I think Alexander could suit you."

"Are you opening a dating service, instead be a midwife?"

"This is only a hobby..."

The boys were on a bench near the river. Alexander was blonde, quite tall, blue eyes and sweet voice.

"There you are... the midwife and..."

"I'm Jane, nice to meet you. What are you doing in Italy?" said shyly Jane.

"I'm Mark and he is Alexander. We are having our grand tour, with the tent."

"What are you studying?" asked Annie

"I am studying to be an Engineer, while Alexander is doing a PhD in International Economy."

"I'm studying midwifery, while Jane studies Interior design."

"Do you speak Italian?"

"A bit" said Mark

"Some words" replied Alexander

Mark and Annie were together wandering around the fair, Alexander was a bit awkward but he started to talk.

"So, Jane, where are you from?"

"I was born in Brighton, but I've lived in London, because my mum is married with a lawyer there. My parents are divorced. And you, where are you from?"

"I was born in East Anglia, my parents live there... I have three sisters"

"Wow, three sisters?"

"Yes, Amelia and Alyssa are older than me, then there is April, she is 16 or 17 I don't remember."

"Have you any niece or nephew?"

"I'm going to have one in November, Amelia is expecting."

"Congratulations!"

"And you? Have you any siblings?"

"Yes, a brother and a sister, younger than me, Mary is 12 and John is 14. They are my half siblings, they are my mother and her second husband's children."

"And your father? Is he married again?"

"No, he his a Navy captain, he is always around the world... oil tanker..."

"So you are here to be a turist?"

"Yes, I've always loved Italy, and I want to see it. We went to Venice, Verona, Milan and Genoa. Now we are there and tomorrow we will sleep in Turin. And you?"

"We are here for a wedding, Annie's cousin, Sara, is going to get married on Saturday. Annie is one of the bridesmaid and I am here for leisure."

Annie looked at them from a bench, where she sat with Mark. They were pretty together. Yes, very very pretty.

"So, Jane, it was so bad?" asked Annie, but she already knew the answer.

"No, not at all, I think he is very very handsome and funny and I think I would like to see him again..."

"Wow, Jane Dawson dating a boy... oh My! I am so happy for you Jane... but, by the way, his surname?!"

"I didn't ask... I know he has three sisters, Amelia, Alyssa and April, that he will be an uncle in few months and he was born in East Anglia..."

Annie looked at her roommate, Jane was glowing that night, she was in love with that boy.

Alexander on the other hand was in love with her.

"Mark, I think I am in love..."

"Who's the girl?"

"Jane..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, absolutely sure..."

Jane went to bed very happy that night, she felt her heart full of joy, she was really in love, she felt little shivers in her lower abdomen and she was happy.

The day after, Annie and Mark wanted them to meet again, they took a beautiful picture along the river.

They matched very well, she was funny and a with a very English sense of humor, he was funny enough to make her laugh every two minutes and a bit too posh.

When they came back to England Alexander hadn't phoned Jane for a long time,then he started to call her every night to wish her goodnight and to tell her his day. One day he went in front of her department with a bunch of flowers.

"Jane?" asked Alexander watching at her like a goddess.

"Oh my God, Alexander, I want to call you today, I think you had the same idea..." said Jane, while kissing him on a cheek. She was very beautiful, with her hair down.

"Do you want to go out with me tonight?"

"Dinner?"

"Yes and then we can go to the pub."

"I love that idea. I have to change my clothes, do you want to go home with me?"

Alexander and Jane walked down the street side by side. He carried her books and notebooks and she carried the flowers. They were indeed in love.

"Our house is a bit untidy, we would be two terrible housemaids" joked Jane.

Alexander sat on the couch in the dining room, while Jane was changing her clothes, the three rooms house was very feminine. A couch in the dining room, a television and a very old phone. The kitchen was small with a little table with two chairs. Alexander didn't see the room, but he saw the bathroom, a mess of body cream, shampoo, bath cream, pads, tampons and make up stuff.

"Do you like Battiato?" asked Alexander wandering around the hall and seeing some discs on the floor.

"Alexander I need your help, I can't find an earring, I think is on the floor..."

Alexander entered in the room, it was little, very little, there was a bunk bed, some posters, a lot of clothes on the chairs and out of the wardrobe. A lot of shoes, flat one, high heels, sandals, trainers, flip flops.

"I think your earring is under the bed..."

"Oh thank you, Alex..." said Jane, she knelt on the floor and took the earring.

"However, yes I like Battiato very much, I have all his discs. Really I like very much Italian music and singer. I bought a discs of Anna Oxa last week."

She was amazing, she was the most beautiful young woman he'd ever seen. She wore a peach dress, with a blue blazer on. She wore high heels. Alexander wore a blue shirt and an old pair of jeans.

"So where are we going?"

"I can take you to London, if you want."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really..."

"If you want I can drive, I have only to take Miriam's keys"

"Who's Miriam?"

"My car, I named her after my nanny."

"Oh, I see, I've never given name to my things." smiled Alexander.

"So, do you drive?"

"Oh yes, my car is down the street."

"I leave a note to Annie, she is on afternoon shift today."

"Is a nurse, Isn't she?"

"No, she is a midwife-to-be. Pay attention, never say her that she is a nurse, she will be very angry. She does a total different job and she has different skill. She brings children to the world."

They went to London, she was happy, even if the trip was tiring, about two hours from Oxford to London, but it was beautiful. It was early October, and the days were a bit shorter. The sun was warm and they had fish and chips and a pint of ale.

"So you are so a gentle girl, but you drink ale.." said Alexander staring at Jane.

"I am not a lady. And I don't pretend to be. I drink also cocktails and vodka, but I am only Miss Dawson. By the way I think I don't know your surname..."

"Felsham"

"It's not the first time I've heard it. Somebody famous has this surname, I read it on some newspaper, now I remember... it's a Lord of Land in East Anglia..."

Alexander blushed, she was talking about his father, he was a Lord to be, but he didn't like that kind of life.

"It's my father."

"What?" shout Jane with wide open eyes.

"Yes, I am Lord and Lady Felsham's son and heir to the title. I've never said to a girl that I will be a Lord, because I fear that you don't want to go out with me anymore."

"Alex, I don't know what to say... I love you, really, I love you, I want to stay with you. Do you want to stay with me?"

"Yes... of course. You are the only girl I've ever loved."

"May I kiss you?"

"You are welcome, my darling."

They kissed, their lips met for the first time, all the world around them seemed stop to see this new blooming love.

They kept on the relationship in the months. Jane laughed when Alex called her at 3 am in the morning to tell her that her sister gave birth to a girl, Alex took care of Jane she caught a terrible cold and she ran a fever for three day. They both helped Annie with her thesis, as well, Annie helped Jane.

In July it was the graduation day for Annie and Jane. They wore very smart dressed and put on the robe and the hat.

"We are going to be graduate, Jane!" said Annie

"We are, Annie."

"I forget my lipstick" shout Annie from the bathroom.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes... I am. Alexander's coming?"

"I am not sure, his father's taken ill, last week, he is still in hospital, so last night he didn't know."

"Don't be sad, Jane."

"My parents won't be there."

"Oh, Jane, why didn't you tell me that?"

"I am a bit embarrassed"

Annie took her friend into her arms.

There were all parents except Jane's ones, she felt a bit sad when they arrived down in the yard of University.

After the ceremony Jane went to sat on a bench, by herself, she had a few photos with her friends while they were dropping in the air their hats, but she was extremely sad. She was alone on her graduation day.

She didn't see Alexander talking to Annie.

"Here you are, my love..." said Alexander while he's offering his hand to Jane.

"Thank God... but how's your father?"

"A bit better, I can sneak of a few hours, because I have to see you. Where are your relatives?"

"Nobody came. I am alone today. I am very sad." Jane started to cry.

"No, no, Jane, don't cry, please. I have something to ask you..."

Alexander put a hand in his pocket and took out a little box.

"Jane, I want to marry you." said him.

Jane almost fainted for the emotion.

"Oh, my Lord, yes, yes... I want to marry you Alex."

Jane dropped her hat, when she caught it back, she put it on Alexander's head.

"So, we are engaged?"

"Yes, my sweetheart..."

"So, I have to know lord and lady Felsham.. so I am going to be a married woman."

"And I am going to be a very happy man."


	4. I give you the Felshams sister Part 1

This chapter was very long to write. But now here we are, we are meeting Alexander's sisters.

April Felsham was in very bad mood that night. She was overtired, she had been on duty since 8 o'clock in the morning of the day before. She needed to sleep, she was studying for her last exam in medicine school.

That night she was in ER, a very busy night, she had only a chance to sleep a little, between half past 2 and 4.

At 4:10 arrived an emergency and she was waken up by one of the nurse.

When they sent the patient to one of the ward the same nurse asked her: "Do you read the front page of the newspaper?"

"Not yet. Why?"

"Apparently Lord Felsham died yesterday, car accident in Scotland."

"Oh my God..."

"April, are you well, you look about to faint"

"Mary, you didn't know, but Lord Felsham was my brother, in fact I am April Felsham."

"Oh, April, I am very sorry."

"I have to go to Felsham Hall... and I won't be there for the rest of the week."

April Felsham went out of hospital at 5 o'clock in the morning, she collapsed on the car seat and took a deep breath. She went to the hospital cafeteria and went to the bathroom, she wasn't very well, she felt a little dizzy and she had a dull ache in her lower abdomen. She started also her period, nothing better.

April drove to Felsham Hall, she arrived there at half past 5, too early also for the staff, to be up.

She was freezing in her car and she want to sleep. So she rang the bell. Mrs Wilson woke up and went to open, it was a situation of emergency, so she didn't get undressed.

"Mrs Wilson, I am April, Alexander's sister." said April, when she looked at the housekeeper.

"What are you doing there? I spoke to your sisters last night and both of them said that they don't know how to contact you." said a bit rudely Mrs Wilson.

"I know about my brother from the local newspaper." said firmly April.

"Do you want to come inside?" asked the housekeeper.

"Thank you..."

April sat on the sofa, and three minutes later she was soundly asleep.

Lovejoy slept in a terrible position, he woke up with a very sore back. Jane was sleeping next to him, her hand was holding his arm very tightly. He didn't move for a while, he didn't want to wake her. She had to sleep a lot, she was overstressed. Jane tossed and turned all night, at last, when the night was leaving to give space to the new day she relaxed a little and fell asleep very deeply. At half past seven he slowly got up. He had an appointment in Cambridge at 10, so he had to get ready.

Lovejoy went downstairs, he found Mrs Wilson: "So, did you sleep with her?"

"I sleep on an armchair, in case she needed something." said Lovejoy and then he asked "May I have some coffee?"

"We have a guest." said Mrs Wilson.

"Who?"

"Lord Felsham's sister."

Lovejoy scanned his mind, Alexander had three sisters, but only the youngest was a nice young woman.

"Lovejoy." said April from the sofa.

"April, how are you?" Lovejoy went towards her, April was very nice to him, she is very nice with all actually.

"So and so, I am very shocked at the moment. How's Jane?"

"She tossed and turned, she had a nightmare, but at last she fall asleep..." said Lovejoy a bit sadly.

"The baby?" April was very worried about the baby.

"Well, the doctor examined her before we left Glasgow."

"And what did she say?"

"Jane has to rest until the funeral."

"Bed rest I hope." said April "Let her sleep this morning, I don't know anything about my mother and sisters."

"Do you want some coffee?"

"Thank you Lovejoy, where are you going this morning?"

"I have to go to Cambridge, Eric will take care of Jane."

Lovejoy poured himself a cup of coffee and poured a cup of coffee for April. He was sipping it when Jane called him: "Lovejoy, where are you?"

He left his coffee in the kitchen, Jane had had a very bad relationship with the scent of coffee since she'd got pregnant.

"Good morning, Janey, how are you?" asked Lovejoy going to open the windows.

"Could you help me to rise? I can rest on the sofa today" asked Jane, putting her hands on her belly.

"The doctor said bed rest, not sofa rest, the sofa is not good for your back and for the baby." said Lovejoy.

He was right, the sofa was unshapely and she couldn't have lie down properly.

"So Jane, how are you feeling?" asked Lovejoy seriously.

"Do you want really to know? Well, I don't know, it's my fault if Alexander were angry when he left and he went to Glasgow a day before his meeting, it's only my fault. And having this lump on my stomach doesn't help..." said Jane pointing out her baby bump.

"Jane it's not your fault, you know, it's not your fault."

"I don't know if I did a good thing keeping it" said Jane very sadly. Lovejoy looked at her, she was very tense.

Lovejoy hugged Jane for a long time, she relaxed a little and he asked her:

" Do you want something to eat?"

"Maybe later. Now I have to go to the toilet, immediately."

"I have to go to Cambridge, Eric will be with you."

"I have to babysitting him" joked Jane.

Lovejoy was pleased that her mood was a bit higher after his hug, but it was only a spot of happiness in a sea of sad thoughts. However in his opinion Jane Felsham was one of the strongest women he'd ever met.

April was on the sofa, reading a medical article for her exam, when Lovejoy climbed down the stairs.

"How is she?" Asked April.

"She had a bit of mood swings and she doesn't want to eat."

"She must eat, she is 20 weeks pregnant, she needs energy, to carry on the pregnancy. And also to face this loss. How much weight she's lost since I saw her last time?"

"I think she puts on a kilo, she lost a lot with the sickness."

"Poor Jane, I will go to her later, before I have to go home, to take something."

Lovejoy left at half past 8, Jane was in bed, she was reading a book. Lovejoy put her feet on two pillows, because the doctor had said that the best position to rest was with risen feet. Jane felt a very hard kick under her navel and she rubbed gently her bump :"My little one, your mum is here, your father no, but Lovejoy is a good man, he will take care of us, I am sorry... I am not behaving well. When I said that maybe it was a mistake to keep you I said that because I am terribly sad. I love you, my wee one, really"

Eric arrived at 9, he was quite embarrassed, how to talk with her? But at first he bumped against April, who was smoking a cigarette on the stairs. Eric looked at that red headed young woman, she wore a pair of old jeans, a cardigan and a white tshirt. She looked tired, but she seemed nice. She wasn't very tall, she was tall like Jane or a little more.

"Who are you?" asked April looking at Eric.

"I am Eric Catchpole, Lovejoy asked me to take care of Jane..." said Eric a bit awkward.

"Nice to meet you, I am April Felsham, I am Alexander's sister. Lovejoy said you will take care of Jane this morning, I have to go home to Cambridge to get some stuffs,I was in a hurry when I left the hospital to come here and so I have neither my bag nor some clean clothes with me."

"When you are back you could stay a little with your sister-in-law."

"Yes, really I want only to sleep right now. I had a terrible 24hour shift."

"What do you do?"

"I am a doctor-to-be, I will graduate in July or August."

"Congratulations, now I must go to Jane." said Eric.

April finished her cigarette and she came back inside. She took her bag and the keys and went to her car. She was very angry with her sister. She missed her father in that moment, Philip Felsham was the kindest man and the best father in the world.

While Eric was climbing the stairs he thought what to say to Jane.

"Good morning, Milady" said Eric "I am very sorry for Lord Felsham. How are you feeling?"

"Good morning Eric, it's a mixture of horrible feelings and I am not very well."

"Do you want something Milady?" asked Eric

"Eric, I need a book, it is in my office, down the corridor, it is a book about pregnancy, it's pink and blue."

"Okay. Sorry, but where is your office?"

"The third door on the right."

Jane didn't want Eric in her room, she didn't want anybody, she needed to sleep first of all, she had slept very badly in the night, she needed to eat, she needed her husband. Jane found herself crying another time.  
Eric came back with the book and he looked at that Lady, who seemed the strongest woman in the world, but in that peculiar moment she was fragile like a butterfly.

Downstairs Tinker was arguing with Mrs Wilson.

Mrs Wilson didn't like at all Jane, and she didn't like at all her friends and she thought that wasn't ladylike the friendship with an antique dealer.

Eric sat on a chair, Jane stared the ceiling, the book was on her nightstand, but she didn't want to read. She wanted to sleep, finally she fell asleep, so Eric left her room and he went downstairs.

April parked quite far from her flat, she needed a little walk, she was shocked, or only angry, she wasn't sad, she was sad for Jane. She was pregnant, she deserved happiness.

Alyssa and Amelia Felsham arrived at Felsham Hall when April was at home and Eric was half sleeping on the sofa. Tinker was drinking an orange juice and he was writing some letters to far relatives and friends.

Amelia was the first to go in, she was a very beautiful woman very similar to Alexander. She went to the drawing room, where Tinker was doing his duty and Eric was disturbing him with silly questions.

"Where is Mrs Wilson?" asked the woman while she was going in the room.

"I think she is in the kitchen or maybe upstairs, who are you?"

"I am Lady Amelia Skelton, Lord Felsham's sister, where is Lady Felsham?"

"She is upstairs, she can't see anybody at the moment, because she is very tired and her blood pressure dropped last night and she is very weak, but I'll go upstairs and I will say her that you are here."

"Very well. So who are you?"

"Eric Catchpole he is Tinker, we are Lovejoy's partner's and we are taking care of Jane until he returns from Cambridge, he is there for an auction." replied Eric like he was acting a piece of drama.

Jane put herself in a sit position, she took the book from the nightstan, she opened the book on the page about the role of the father during the pregnancy. She immediately regretted it. In fact she started to cry.

Alexander had never wanted any child: when they got married she took the pill for a long time, because he had been never at home and she wanted to work a little. But she wanted a child.

The only people who knew about the baby were Lovejoy, Tinker and Eric, April, Alexander and Mrs Wilson.

Eric climbed the stairs and he went to Jane's room.

"Jane..." said Eric, but he saw her crying, so he stayed there looking at her.

"Eric, I am sorry, I am a bit too emotional lately. Sorry."

"You have the right to be emotional, your sisters-in-law are downstairs."

"Who?"

"Lady April Skelton and Alyssa Felsham."

"Oh my God, have you said anything about it?" asked her putting a hand on her belly.

"No, nothing."

"OK, April?"

"She was there early this morning, she came there from the hospital and she needs to go home."

"OK... keep them busy. I can't face them now." said Jane, holding her breath.

"Are you OK?"

"A bit shaken... and I am not ready for all the mess of the funeral and so..." said Jane, her brain was full of gloomy stuff.

Lovejoy came back from Cambridge in that moment, he was happy because he found interesting stuff for his business. He didn't know who is waiting for him in the dining room.

"And who are you?" asked Alyssa from the sofa sipping her tea.

"I am Lovejoy, Jane's business partner. And you?"

"I am Lord Felsham's sister, I don't know why Jane can't receive us."

"She is unwell, for her it is a great shock. She is resting." said Lovejoy looking at the stairs.

"Your friend said the same thing. We want to see her." said Amelia.

"Eric, I am back, who is that stupid cow who parked the car in the middle of the yard?" said April throwing her overnight bag and her backpack on the floor of the hall.

"April..." said Alyssa

"Alyssa, Amelia... I didn't recognize you under all that make up." said April "I am going to see Jane."

"Jane..." said the young woman from the bedroom's door.

"April..." said Jane turning her head to the door.

"Jane, how are you?" asked April going into the room and near her siter-in-law.

"I don't know, I feel a terrible mother..." Jane started to cry again and she collapsed against the pillow.

April took her hand and she squeezed it.

"Jane, sweetheart, take some deep breaths, please, this excitement is not good for the baby." April put a hand on Jane's little bump and she smiled: "Hi little one. It moves a lot to be only 21 weeks old. But how are you, really Jane?"

"Do you want really to know?"  
"Yes, I want, because you are my only alley in this family, because I love you and because that wee thing deserves a healthy mother. Jane, I know, you are not hungry, now you can't feel anything but grief and pain, but think about your child," said April looked gently at Jane.

Jane was tiny, she lost weight with the morning sickness, but the baby was growing well, her doctor was happy about baby's measurement, but wasn't happy with Jane, because she was too stressed by her husband.

"I don't know how I am feeling, unsteady mostly, exhausted but I can't sleep, I feel alone..." she started to cry again, she was sitting on the bed, April helped her again on the pillow and said: "Jane, take some deep breaths, in and out, try to relax a little, it isn't good for the baby."

"I am a terrible mother, am I not?"

"Jane, please, don't say stupid thing. the last three days were the worst in your life. You need to rest first thing. Your bump is a bit hard."

"Really?" Jane blushed.

"A little, but it's the excitement." said April taking Jane's hand and squeezing it.

"Are here also Alyssa and Amelia?"

"Yes, they are here, but you don't have to see them. Now I go one second downstairs, then I will come back."

April went downstairs, she took her handbag, she emptied it on the chair in the hall, she grabbed a cigarette, the lighter and a pill of painkiller.

"Lovejoy, do you want to stay with me one second? I want to talk with you about Jane." said April.

"Surely"

"So, Jane is very shaken, she needs rest, her bump is hard, she is tired."

"I know. I am very sorry, April, really, I am sorry for your loss. How are you?"

"Me? Don't care about me, I am heartless, I've never cried for a dead person, my high school boyfriend decided to kill himself in a lake in Scotland. When I knew it I said something like "Ok""

"But you are not heartless." said Lovejoy "You are a very good doctor, I talked with Elizabeth Woods, Jane's doctor, she will be there in the afternoon to check on Jane."

"OK." said April with a grimace.

"Are you well?"

"Woman's stuff."


	5. This wee thing

Four Months before Alex's death

Jane and Alexander spent some time in Italy , they went skiing in Cortina and then to Rome for some Alexander's business.

By the time they came back to East Anglia Jane started to feel very ill.

All started a snowy morning, she got up from bed with a very upset stomach and with her head spinning. Alexander was at home that day and kept distances because he believed it was a flu.

"Alex, I am not well at all." said Jane with a hand on her forehead and the other one of the back of a chair.

"It is only a flu, I am sure. Come back to bed, I ask Mrs Wilson to take you something." said Alexander reading the Financial Times and sipping his coffee

"I am so queasy that I think I'll throw up as soon as I swallow something. And by the way your eau de toilet has a disgusting smell." said Jane.

"Jane, really, aren't you pregnant, are you?" asked very worried Alexander, he was worried by her sensitivity to smells

Jane glanced at the calendar on the wall, she missed her period that month.

"I am late…" said Jane with a hand on her stomach.

"You are late for what?" asked Alexander looked at her wife.

"My period. I think I skip this month."

"Are you sure?" asked Alexander holding his breath.

"Yes, I am sure, because I'd had the last before we left for Italy. Last time I bought tampons was early November."

Alexander was very scary. He didn't want a baby.

Alexander went into his office while Jane stayed all morning down on the sofa. Until almost midday, when the phone rang.

"Lady Felsham…"

"Janey, are you back?" said merrily Lovejoy

"Lovejoy, yes but I feel awfully today." Replied Jane, with a hand on her upset stomach

"What are you feeling?"

"I am queasy, I can't stand any smells, my head spins and I feel very tired."

"You are pregnant" said Lovejoy, he knew those symptoms, he had a daughter and his ex-wife had had them when she was carrying Victoria.

"Don't say silly things Lovejoy" snapped her.

"I am only saying the truth. Did you have your period this month?"

"I am late." said Jane.

"Do you come here today?"

"I don't feel well enough to drive."

"I'll pick you up in half an hour. I want to show you something."

Half an hour later Jane was on Lovejoy's car, with her head out of the window, the arbre magique on that car made her gag.

"In my opinion you are pregnant." said Lovejoy when they jumped down in the snow.

Jane was very pale, her eyes had dark circles and she was shivering.

"What do you want to show me?" said Jane, she wanted to come back home and a lie down.

Lovejoy had bought from a dealer of Manchester a mirror, but that mirror needed a lot of work and he was giving it to Jane.

"Jane, another thing, I bought it for you. Please, do it." Lovejoy handled Jane a pregnancy test kit.

Jane went to the bathroom, the only place in Lovejoy's shop without intense smells.

She followed the instructions and then she waited the time for the result.

It was negative.

She threw all in the bin.

She went out of the bathroom and ran outside in the snow, Jane was crying, she really wanted a child. She fell after few steps, she slipped on the ice.

Tinker helped her, but he smelled of alcohol or something similar, she almost vomit on him.

And Tinker thought that she was absolutely pregnant.

Jane cried all the time when Lovejoy was taking her home.

"Good night Jane, have a good rest."

"Thank you Lovejoy. Maybe it's only a little of stress, nothing more."

But Lovejoy knew very well that Lady Jane Felsham was carrying a baby, her eyes were sparkling, so that test was wrong. He went to another pharmacy and he bought another test.

The following day Jane couldn't keep anything down. By lunchtime she was half collapsed on the floor of her bathroom, when arrived Mrs Wilson.

"Mr Lovejoy is downstairs."

"Oh, yes, we have an appointment, Mrs Wilson could you help me to rise?"

Mrs Wilson offered her hand to Jane and she held it tightly.

She was dizzy.

She walked downstairs, she was more green than pale.

She wore an old pajama and a loose sweater. Her hair was a mess.

"Jane, have you been sick?" asked Lovejoy cupping Jane's cheek.

"Yes, many times this morning." replied hopelessly Jane.

"Do you mind if I bought you another test?"

"I am tired, I've not the strength to argue with you. Give me this test." snapped Jane.

Jane went to the bathroom downstairs.

She took this test, she did it and she waited for the result.

She sat on the floor of the bathroom, her legs were shacking and her head was spinning.

Her sight was blurred with tears, both for a positive or negative result.

"Lovejoy" called her.

Lovejoy went into the bathroom and she handled him the test.

He checked twice the result, he took the test and made a comparison with the picture on the leaflet in the pack.

"Congratulation Jane, you will be a mum." Lovejoy said it very loudly.

Jane got up very quickly and threw up in the sink.

Lovejoy looked at her, he took her hair away from her face and damped a towel to rinse her face.

"Jane, deep breaths. Now, we go in the dining room and you take an appointment with your doctor."

Lovejoy leaded Jane on the sofa, he put her down and then put her feet up.

"How do you feel now?" asked Lovejoy.

Jane was turning from a very pale yellow to a healthier pink.

"I feel like seasickness" said Jane with a hand on her lower belly.

"Jane, you are becoming a mum."

"Don't remind me this fact."

"Will Alex be at home tonight?"

"Yes, I will say him that he's going to be a father."

Mrs Wilson bring Jane some dry toast and light tea.

"So, you are pregnant?"

"Yes, I am. Please mouth sealed with Lord Felsham's relatives." said Jane.

"Do you need anything?"

"Maybe some water with some sugar in it, I feel a bit lightheaded."

Alexander would have been at home by 8 o'clock, she had a shower, she dressed properly. She also weighted herself on the old the scale, she hardly used it, she didn't gain weight easily.

She was hardly 50 kilos.

She asked Mrs Wilson to cook something light, her stomach wasn't very upset, but she didn't feel at her best.

Jane waited for Alex in the living room, reading a magazine.

They were eating a soup when Jane said: "Alex, do you know that I was a bit under the weather today? I took two pregnancy test…"

"And?" Alex felt the neck of his shirt tightening.

"We are having a baby." Jane said it with her eyes full of tears, she was happy.

"How?"

"Yes, I am pregnant, I had a test today. And I am pregnant."

"Sorry, but I am not hungry anymore."said angrily Alexander.

"But Alex…" said Jane crying.

"That thing you are carrying is mine?" asked sharply Alexander.

Jane didn't reply, took the car and went to the pub, the Dove and the Fox, where Lovejoy and Tinker were having something to drink.

Lovejoy was surprised when he saw Jane going into the pub.

"Jane, what's happened?" asked Lovejoy leading her to a chair

"I said Alex about the baby… he isn't pleased." said sadly Jane.

"You with child, Milady, I am so happy for you" said Tinker stroking Jane's hand.

"Thank you Tinker."

"Now I understand why yesterday you almost vomited on me"

"Jane do you want something to drink?"

"Yes, a light tea and maybe some toast." said Jane.

"Did you have dinner?"

"A kind of, because we were having the soup when I said Alexander about the baby. And I find that supper is the only meal I can have without being queasy."

"This is good. Have you taken an appointment with the doctor?"

"Yes, Mrs Wilson took it. Tomorrow morning in Cambridge at 10 AM."

The following morning Jane woke up at half past 7, she sat on the bed and instantly asked Alex : "Could you help me to rise? I am too dizzy."

Alexander got up and gave her a hand.

Jane was sick again that day, but only once. She managed also to drink a couple of sips of tea.

She drove herself to Cambridge, with some breaks to breathe a little of fresh air.

"Hi Jane, how are you?" asked Elizabeth, the doctor, a woman a little older than Jane, with black hair and green eyes.

"A bit sick" replied Jane climbing on the examination table.

"Mrs Wilson told me you had a home test and you are pregnant, now, I want a sample of blood to test, to confirm officially the pregnancy and then I will examine you."

Elizabeth took a sample of blood, then she put a plaster on the hole in Jane's arm and took the cuff for the blood pressure.

"90-60" said Elizabeth "Do you feel dizzy?"

"Yes, very often."

"It's normal during the first trimester of pregnancy a lower blood pressure, you must be well hydrated to avoid any dizziness or fainting" said Elizabeth

"I am very sick."

"Morning sickness, your last period?"

"End of November."

"So you are now in the 6th week. Ok, now, rise your blouse."

Elizabeth ran a hand on Jane's flat stomach, she pressed a little and she wrote something down on a note pad.

Then she examined Jane and while Jane was dressing her back said: "So, I want to see you in two weeks for an ultrasound. For the morning sickness, it depends from woman to woman, some women find helpful some ginger, others find helpful lemon and ice. Are you tired?"

"Yes, always, even if I sleep all night."

"It's called pregnancy fatigue, get plenty of rest, take some naps if they help. In case of bleeding, or pain call me."

"I'll be out for a month" said Alexander while Jane was lying on the sofa.

"What?" asked Jane rising to quickly and almost fainting.

"Yes, I'll be in Hon Kong for a month and when I'll be back I want to give a house party or only some dinners with friends."

Jane kept her mind full with work and stuff for the baby. She was very happy, even if her stomach gave her trouble and she was always tired and on the verge of tears.

Lovejoy took care of her, he started to slept on one of the sofa to be with Jane, she was always very weak at night, so he helped her to her room. He try to force her to eat a little more. But she was losing weight, from 50 kilos she lost about a couple of kilos.

Four weeks later.

April arrived at Felsham Hall a little after 8 pm, and Jane usually had dinner at 7:30. April didn't see Jane downstairs, so she went upstairs.

She stopped in front of her sister-in-law's room.

"Jane, may I come in?"

"Yes, come in April." said Jane, she was on the bed staring the ceiling of the room, the only position in which she didn't felt sick.

"Jane, are you well?"

"So and so.."

"What's the matter, I start to worry about you."

"I'm pregnant." said Jane.

"How long?"

"About 10 weeks I think."

"And you are unwell, now I understand why you called me this morning."

"I feel terribly. I was well, without sickness for a week and then it comes back."

"What do you feel?"

"I am always sick or I am hungry, but then sick again, I cry very often, I feel dizzy every time I stand up from a chair. My breast is tender and I am awfully tired."

"You are indeed pregnant Jane... I want only to check your blood pressure and your pulse. To be sure that all is well."

"Thank you, my gynaecologist said that all is well, and that my symptoms are very very common. And the sickness will last only until the 12th week."

"She is right. Usually morning sickness last about 4 or 5 weeks. But you have to be happy Jane, you are having a baby, I will be aunt!"

"I'm happy, when I don't think and don't focus my attention on my stomach."

"And Alexander? Is he pleased? Jane how could you stay on your feet? Your blood pressure is very low."

"He is not very happy and he's been away since I was in 6th week."

"What? You are 10 weeks pregnant and my brother where is?"

"He is in Hong Kong, he'll be home this week end."

"Jane, you have to share with him this pregnancy, he is the father, and he have the duty to stand by your during this period, even if could be unpleasant."

"Lovejoy takes care of me..."

"Thank God, you need somebody with you, because you are not well and you mustn't be overtired. By the way, who is Lovejoy?"

"He is my business partner. He sleeps on the sofa, downstairs, so I am not alone in the night, he always take my hair when I am sick, he brings me dry toast and light tea to settle my stomach and also lemon and ice cube."

"Very well, but Alexander?"

"I say him that I am pregnant. He was angry with me, he didn't talk to me for few nights, then he left for Hong Kong. He phoned me yesterday and said that he will be home Friday. And he invited some people for dinner , would you like to come?"

"Jane, a dinner, with your stomach?" asked a bit worry April

"I know, I'll not eat at all."

April stayed over that night, she was on leave for three days. The following morning, she was awaken by Jane.

"Jane, are you well?" asked April.

"More or less, today isn't a good morning."

"Is Lovejoy here?"

"He could be downstairs having coffee, I don't stand the scent."

"Typical, more of expecting mums hate coffee during the first trimester, do you want something?"  
"One second, I need one second to settle my stomach."

"OK, I go down one second, don't get up please!"

Jane take the phone from the night stand.

"Alexander?"  
"Jane, how are you?"

"A bit sick and a bit tired, but quite well."

"Why are you sick?"

"Because I am pregnant. Do you remember?"

"Ah, yes, but it's OK the dinner on Friday night?"

"Yes, I don't know if I'll eat. April is there."

"April? Why?"

"Because yesterday I was a bit under the weather and a bit sad, so I called her, she said that all these discomforts are normal and I have to be patient until the 12th week, then I will be a little better."

"I have to go, we will see on Friday afternoon."

April took upstairs a tray with light tea and toast, and some ice cubes with lemon.

"Jane, are you better? I take you something to eat."

"You are a treasure..." said Jane

"Today if you feel well we could go somewhere and have some shopping"

"For the baby?"

"Yes, if you want, but I need something to wear for Friday."

Jane smiled, she was happy to have her sister-in-law around the house.

"Janey!" Lovejoy shouted when he entered in Felsham Hall.

"Are you Lovejoy, aren't you?" asked the girls sipping her coffee.

"And you?"

"April Felsham, nice to meet you."

"Are you the young doctor?"

"Yes... how do you know about me?"

"Jane said me something about her sister-in-law. Where's the mummy?"

"Upstairs, a bit sick this morning, but she ate something for breakfast."

"Really?"

"Yes a slice of toast and half a cup of tea."

"Well, most of the mornings she doesn't eat until lunch. Did you check your blood pressure?"

"Yes, it is low. And I think she could be anaemic, she is very pale and very weak. By the way, Alexander will be home tomorrow I think. Do you come to the dinner?"

"Yes. Jane doesn't want to say to anybody about the baby."

"I know, neither to my sisters. Today Jane and I are going to do some shopping, I need a proper dress for Friday night."

Friday's dinner was a success, Jane was well that day, she enjoyed herself. April was a bit awkward, but she had fun.

By bed time Jane she was half sitting on the bed, Alexander was sitting and he read a book.

"So, Jane…"

"So what?"

"Are you sure about the baby?"

"Yes, I am sure… I want this baby and I think you want a baby too."

"But my job…"

"I know, your job is busy, but you are not the mother, I am, you are the father, maybe you could work from London…"

Alexander looked at Jane, she was really happy even if that little thing made her queasy, weak, tired and moody, even if in few weeks she would have put on some kilos and her shape would have change.

Lord and Lady Felsham's life was changing forever, that little thing would have changed their life forever, and Alexander didn't want to change his life.

Jane instead want to change her life forever, she was changing it in that moment. But she want to be a mum.

Lord Felsham looked again at her wife, she was beautiful, she was glowing. He was happy for her. In fact he took her in his arms and lulled her to sleep. It was the first and the last time in which Alexander sang a lullaby to someone.


	6. We are on your side

While Lovejoy and April were chatting on the stairs arrived Elizabeth.

"They phoned from the hospital, they will release Alexander tomorrow, so the funeral could be the day after, I will talk to the vicar" said Lovejoy

"Thank you" April was playing with her hair, really she was tearing some hair from her head.

"Where is Jane?" asked the doctor taking her briefcase from the car.

"She is in her room, do you know the way?"

"Yes, I know..." said Elizabeth climbing the stairs.

Elizabeth step inside the room, Jane was half sleeping with her hands limp on her belly.

"Jane, how are you?"

Jane gasped, trying to put herself in a sitting position, but her head span.

"More or less..." said Jane, breathing deeply.

Elizabeth put a hand on Jane shoulder.

"Jane, give me your wrist, I will check your pulse." said Elizabeth taking her clock, Jane gave her the wrist.

"80, a bit high... I take your blood pressure now." said Elizabeth with the cuff in her hands.

"85-50... Jane, it's a bit too low. Do you feel any dizziness?"

"I've been always dizzy since Alex's death..."

"I think a good part is playing by the shock." said Elizabeth

Then Elizabeth put down bed-covers and pull on Jane's nightgown, she put a hand on the middle of the belly. She pressed a little, then she took a tape.

"Do you have any contractions? Or strange discharge? Your bump is a little tense, now I will check the heartbeat.

There was a moment of total silence, Jane kept her breath to hear the sound of that little heart.

"The heartbeat is strong..." said Elizabeth. Jane at those words started to cry, but they were tears of joy, the only thing perfect in that moment was her child, she was carrying a healthy child.

"I am afraid of having a miscarriage..." said Jane with both her hands of the belly.

"Stay calm, Jane, you can't lose it, it is healthy and it has a strong heartbeat, don't worry about the lack of movements in case, you are stressed and it can feel your stress at this stage of pregnancy. So you need to rest, no stress please, until the funeral and you have to take it easy until the birth. I give you some vitamins for your pressure and on next visit I want a blood work, I am afraid that you are a little anemic. Are you eating properly?"

"No, I can eat really a little of food." replied Jane blushing.

"Another thing, if you need anything not from a doctor, but from a friend I will be here."

Jane was touched by this sentence and she said: "Thank you Elizabeth"

That night arrived also Lady Alice Felsham, Alexander's mother. She used to live in Caribbean with her new husband. She was in her late fifties, or maybe early 60, she was tall, very tiny and with a very beautiful skin.

She was more beautiful than Alyssa and Amelia.

She wore a long black dress, black sunglasses, a hat with a veil and a pair of silky gloves.

"She is my mother Lovejoy." said harshly Apri.

"She is very similar to Alexander.."

"Yes, really. I come inside to greet her, then I want to have a chat with Elizabeth, about Jane."

Alice Felsham step into the living room and she bumped against Eric who was napping on the carpet.

"Who are you?" asked

"I am Eric Catchpole, at your service." replied Eric jumping immediately on his feet.

Tinker was out at the pub, he needed his regular dose of Alcool to work.

"What a terrible loss girls, what a terrible one" told Alice to her daughters, they were both sitting on the sofa.

"Hi mother..." said April.

"April? I believe you somewhere in Africa or in Russia."

"No, I am doing an internship in Cambridge, I'm living there." said April.

"Why are you dressed like that?" asked Alice looking at her youngest daughter.

"Am I dressing wrong?"

"You are wearing unsuitable clothes, where are you coming from?"

"Mother I've been at work until 6 o'clock this morning, I went home to take the overnight bag then I was back here. I work, you not, so please, don't judge me. But you've always judged me... Another think? I am on period, so I am in pain and I want only to have a lie down and another funny task? I have to study for an exam, so please, leave me alone."

"I want to see Jane." said Alice

"She is resting, her blood pressure was very low and the doctor put her on rest for today."

"I can wait until tomorrow. Now, where is my room. Mrs Wilson..."

Mrs Wilson was in the kitchen doing nothing really. She arrived quite soon.

"Milady?"

"My room please..."

Mrs Wilson sent the Felsham women to their room, with the promise of a tray with something to eat a bit later.

Elizabeth was in the kitchen chatting with April.

"So, what about Jane?" asked April pouring a little of red wine in two glasses.

"Nothing bad for the baby, it is active and its heartbeat is strong, she needs rest, she needs to calm down her nerves, I didn't performed a complete examination because it could have been very painful. She is too tense.

"Bed rest?"

"Not total, I think tomorrow she can stay on the sofa, she mustn't stay on her feet for long time but she can have a normal life, but very quiet, so no car, no stairs."

"Thank you Elizabeth."

"I am very sorry about your brother."

"Thank you."

"Are you well April? You look very tired."

"It's 48 hours that I don't sleep."

"Well, in case of bleeding or contractions call me."

Lovejoy went in Jane's room.

"Jane, you mother-in-law is here."

"What?"

"Alice"

"Oh my God, I can't face her right now."

"She is in her room."

"Oh, thank God. She is a very kind woman, she is kinder than Alyssa and Amelia, but she is a bit judgmental." said Jane relaxing against the pillows.

"What did Elizabeth say?" asked Lovejoy sitting close to her.

"Nothing special, I heard the heartbeat. It is healthy." said Jane.

Lovejoy smile and put his hand on Jane's belly, he stroked gently the curve of the belly.

"And what about you?"

"Lovejoy, we all know what I am, I am a dowager lady. Or better a pregnant dowager lady"

"Jane, they phoned from Glasgow, the funeral could be the day after tomorrow."

"Ok... could you please talk to the vicar? I am too weak to do that."

Lovejoy looked into her eyes, he felt for her the deepest feeling he'd ever felt. He loved her. He decided in that moment that he would use all his free time to take care of her and of her child. He couldn't let her down. He really wanted a future with her, maybe more children,he wanted her to become his wife.

"Jane, do you want something to eat?" asked Lovejoy.

"Maybe a little of soup with some toast?" said Jane licking her bottom lip.

"Are you hungry?"

"A little, please don't bring me a gallon of soup, but I can face a couple of spoons of it."

Jane ate precisely three spoon of soup and drink half a glass of water and ate a little piece of toast, better than a little quarter of toast and a sip of tea.

April was in the kitchen downstairs, she was trying to study, but her cramps and the tiredness didn't let her focus the attention on the medical article she read.

Alyssa and Amelia were in their room they both slept by 10 o'clock.

Alice was in her room too, she held a old picture, a family picture. It was taken in 1979, the day when Alexander and Jane arrived from their honeymoon. She missed her husband that day and that picture was the first one with Jane and the last one with Philip. She was silently suffering, she didn't say her husband that she was going in England because of the death of her only son.

She didn't like very much Jane. She'd never loved April, she was born by a mistake, she failed to count fertile days and so April. Maybe that moment was the more suitable to change these things. She sank her face in her pillow and cried all her tears.

Jane too found that old picture on the bottom of her drawer in her room, she recalled very well that day. They were all happy.

Lovejoy went into the kitchen by 11 o'clock.

"So, doctor Felsham, do you want to go to sleep?"

"Yes, but where?"

"I think Jane is still awake, you can ask her. Tonight I'll sleep on the sofa with Eric and Tink, I don't think your mother likes if I sleep with Jane."

April smiled and then she started to climb the stairs.

Jane was really still awake, she was reading a book.

"Jane, where I can sleep tonight?" asked April

"I don't fell enough well to sleep alone, do you like to sleep with me?"

"Don't you mind?"

"Not at all, I need somebody by me."

"How are you Jane?"

"Like on the roller coaster. Really, one moment I am not happy but quite positive, on the other I am gloomy, sad and I want to cry."

"I am very sorry for you."

"And you?" asked Jane, looked directly at April's eyes.

"I nothing, I am heartless, and the sight of mother downstairs earlier made my heart died in a permanent way."

"I don't think you are without heart, April. I know you, and you aren't. But now you are tired."

April didn't want say that she was so tired that she barely walk up the stairs. She really needed a lie down and some hours of good sleep.

"I have a shower first. You should have been already asleep."

"I can't..." said Jane

"Jane, do you like to take a bath. It can be good for you."

Jane staid in the tub for hours, she looked at her belly from the water, the small bump was round, tender, she started to relax finally, after two days of emotional twist.

Both April and Jane slept deeply that night. Jane fell asleep with April's hand on her belly.

Another morning started.

"I think we have to break them the news, because if they see Jane, the bump will be quite visible. " tell Lovejoy to Tinker while they were drinking tea in the kitchen.  
"Do you love her, Lovejoy?" asked Tinker, he was a smart man and he knew that Lovejoy loved Jane.

"I do, Tinker, really, I've loved her since that night with that fancy purple dress" said Lovejoy.

"Good morning, gentlemen" said April

"April, how's Jane?"

"She is still asleep. I let her sleep. She is tired."

April helped Mrs Wilson, she could have been a better housekeeper. She was a good organizer and she phoned relatives and the Hospital in Glasgow.

"Lovejoy, I want to ask you one thing, do you know if Jane did any ultrasound?"

"Yes, she did one last week. Why?"

"Medical curiosity." replied Aprill.

April took the sheet of dark paper and said "I think Jane is expecting a young lady."

Lovejoy was happy, he couldn't have stood a boy copy and paste of Alexander.

"April, Tinker and I were thinking that maybe we have to tell them that Jane is pregnant."

"I don't know" said April "It's Jane's uterus and baby, not mine."

Jane woke up at half past 10, she was better. Her mind was more relaxed and she was ready to face her mother and sisters in law.

"Good morning Janey, how are you?" asked Lovejoy

"Better. Can I go downstairs today?"

"Yes, but I'll carry you, you can't climb the stairs."

Jane put on a little of make up, a loose sweater and a pair of old work trousers.

"Here we are madame" said Lovejoy putting Jane on the sofa in the drawing room.

"Are you well with your back here?"

"Yes, I am well. Can you bring me some tea?"

"Anything else?"

"No, thank you." said Jane.

Alice went into the drawing room with a bunch of papers and letters.

"Jane, I didn't know you were up. How do you feel? I am very sorry for Alexander, it is a terrible loss to you too."

"More or less, how are you, lady Felsham? I am sorry too for you, he was your only son."

"You can imagine. How is the baby?"

"How do you know about the baby?" asked Jane very scared by that question.

"Jane, calm down. Alexander phoned me the night in which you said him that you were expecting."

"He was very hard about the baby. Sometimes I think it could have been better if I had had an abortion."

"Jane, do you know what I told him?"

"No. We never had the chance to talk quietly after the test." said Jane

"However, I said him that a baby is a blessing and that he was behaving like a selfish boy. I want to talk to you, I want to know how you were."

"I have morning sickness for a lot of weeks. Now I am better. But all this situation is wearing me out. We went to Glasgow, we came back, I am useless." said Jane, she felt a knot in her throat.

"Shh, Jane, don't say silly things. May I hug you?"

"You are welcome." said Jane.

Jane cried against Alice's shoulder, but her heart was happy. Her mother-in-law was happy about her pregnancy and about her becoming grandmother.

"Have you seen April this morning? I have to talk with her."

"She was going to Cambridge for some errands. I am in a semi bed rest, I can't drive."

"I am really happy for this baby. It is a new beginning. When I knew about Alexander I was worried about you and about the baby. Are you eating enough?"

"No, not really. I'm not gaining enough weight. In fact both my doctor and April are a bit concerned."

"Who is this Mr Lovejoy?"

"He is my business partner, he is a good man, he is helping me. We work together."

"You are still a decorator?"

"Yes, I am. I know you didn't like this fact."

"But you are good in this job."

Alice looked at Jane with kind eyes, her daughter-in-law was a strong woman, she'd always been.

Amelia and Alyssa arrived downstairs together.

"Jane, finally you are up." said Alyssa

"Yes, I am up."

Jane moved a little on the sofa and her sweater tighten a little against her stomach.

"Jane, are you expecting?" asked Amelia pointing out the rounded belly under the sweater.

"Yes, I am almost 21 weeks pregnant." replied Jane, with a hand over her bump.

"You are pregnant? But did you know that Alexander had never wanted any child?" asked sharply Alyssa.

Jane was trying to remain calm, to count to 100 before open her mouth.

"I didn't know, but it happened. And now it's a bit later to regret about it." said Jane pointing out her belly.

"And who is the father? Alexander or your friend Lovejoy?" asked Alyssa again

"It is Alexander's"

"You are selfish, you are only a selfish no one. You have a name only thank to Alexander. You wanted him stuck with you with a child." told Amelia to Jane, who began to shake.

Jane breathed deeply, she rose slowly from the sofa, she ran to the kitchen. Tears in her eyes and a terrible pain in her chest.

"You are selfish, both of you. Out of this house, immediately. Go to anhotel. It's not a suggestion. I am shame of you!" barked Alice against her daughters. "If she lose the baby, it will be only your fault!"

Jane sank in a chair, she put her feet on another one. She felt terribly, her stomach in knot her hands were shaking, her head was spinning.

Tinker and Alice stepped at the same time in the kitchen, Jane was in the middle of the kitchen shaking.

"Jane, have a sip of water" said Alice hugging Jane.

"What's happened Milady?" asked Tinker

"Nothing, my daughters behaved like stupid children. Can you prepare some tea, mr.."

"Tinker..."

"Jane, are you better?"

"Yes, a little, I am sorry, I am too emotional."

"You are a strong woman Jane. Really. You are the strongest in all this situation and you are thousand times better than my daughters. They are going to sleep in hotel tonight."

"I don't if I am strong or not, I only know that this situation is the worst in all my life and I don't wish it to anybody."

Alice kissed Jane forehead and put a hand on her rounded belly.

"It is moving."

"Yes, it's always moved when I am upset, or I am stressed."

"Now you are not only upset, you are worn out." said Alice glancing at tinker.

Alice cooked lunch and she ate with Jane.

"Jane, are you sure you've eaten enough?" asked Alice a bit concerned about her daughter-in-law, she cooked some meat with vegetables and Jane ate a forkful of vegetables as well a forkful of meat.

"Yes, I am sure, I am not hungry really." said Jane.

"I know, it's difficult."

"I have a permanent knot in my throat. And I am always tired, I am really tired.

Jane came back on the sofa and she fell asleep, she woke up when April and Lovejoy stepped in the living room.

"Jane, how are you?" asked April knelt near the sofa and a hand on Jane's forehead.

"More or less. You mother kicked out Alyssa and Amelia, and she wants to talk to you."

"I spoke to the vicar. The funeral will be tomorrow." said Lovejoy.

"Time?"

"11 o'clock. We've already called all the relatives and the friends."

"Well, thank you..."

"Jane, you know, if you need I'll be there." said Lovejoy kissing her forehead.

That night she fell asleep in Lovejoy's lap, he put her carefully on the bed. He watched her, that strong and beautiful woman, with reddish hair, blue eyes, and a growing baby in her womb, a girl.

He came back downstairs.

"Is Jane sleeping?" asked Alice pouring some brandy in the tumblers.

"Yes, she is sleeping, she was exhausted poor thing." said Lovejoy

"I can imagine." said Alice "And April is tired too."

Alice put a blanket on April, she was asleep on the sofa.


	7. Farewell to Alex

Alice had been for a while staring at her daughter, she was beautiful, very beautiful, red hair, curly, freckles on her nose. Not a typical Felsham, she had to say, not at all. But however a Felsham.

April woke up with Alice sat near her feet.

"I didn't want to wake you, April..." said quietly Alice, stroking her daughter's foot.

"Mother, what do you want from me?" asked harshly April.

"April, I want to talk with you..." said Alice a bit awkward.

"I have a proper outfit for the funeral, don't worry..." said April with her face sunk in the pillow.

"I am not here to discuss about your outfit... April, I want only to said you that I love you... very much, I am sorry. Now I understand that I've always ignored you. Perhaps because I've never known how to behave with you. You weren't, and you still aren't, like your sisters. I didn't know how to handle it. Now I understand that the only thing I can do is accept as you are and no try to change you ..."

April's bottom lip started trembling.. "Mum..." mouthed

"Yes, sweetheart."

"May I hug you?" asked April

Alice opened her arms and leaded in them her youngest child. "I am very proud of you Lady April Felsham."

"Really, Mum?"

"Yes, really, do you want to come to sleep with me?"

"Yes, mum." said April.

April was almost 25 and she had never said the word "Mum" before.

Lovejoy and Tinker were in a spare room. Tinker couldn't sleep, he was thinking about what Lovejoy had told him that afternoon.

Jane woke up with a dull pain in her belly, but she didn't mind it too much. She didn't sleep well, she dreamed of Alexander, as usual.

It was a little after 8 and the funeral was at 11. She adjusted her position on the pillows and rubbed gently the aching spot on her bump. Her mind was moving very fast, she wanted only to relax.

"Jane, are you awake?" asked April with a bag in her hands.

"Yes, come in.." said Jane sitting on the bed and putting a hand on the small of her back.

"How are you?"

"Like a poor pregnant woman who is going to her husband's funeral... I am worn out."

"I have something for you." said April putting her hand on Jane's shoulder.

Jane sat at her dresser, she put on a little of make up and then she got dressed. It was a nice dress, black with a high waistline and a ribbon on the neck. She put on the grey blazer and her lowest heels. The hat with the veil was waiting for her downstairs.

"Jane, are you ready?" asked Lovejoy

"Yes, I am ready, but I don't think I have enough strength to stand up without support."

A second later Lovejoy gave her his arm.

Alice held April's hand for all time.

Alyssa and Amelia stayed in a corner, they didn't spoke with anybody.

Jane was unsteady without a support, in fact she leaned heavy against Lovejoy's shoulder during the funeral, but she didn't cry.

She was able to give a speech even if Lovejoy was very concerned about her condition, she was firm, she barely breathed, she was worried to faint.

After her speech everyone knew that she was pregnant, that dress highlight her rounded belly.

Jane was short breathed when she came back to Lovejoy and he said: "You shouldn't have gone to give the speech."

"I am well Lovejoy." said harshly Jane.

At the funeral feast,

Mrs Wilson prepared a lot of delicious things. Tinker agreed that gin and tonic was excellent.

Eric was near Alice and April.

Lovejoy was pottering around and keeping an eye on Jane.

"Jane, I am so sorry for Alexander. How are you?" said Victoria, Jane's friend, she was married to a lawyer in Perù, she was a beautiful woman with blond hair and a beautiful smile.

"Thank you, Victoria, I am not very well, really. I want to fall asleep and wake up only to give birth to this little thing."

"And the pregnancy is going well?"

"Look at me, Victoria, I am not a very glowing mother to be."

"Jane, if you need something I'll be here. You are very pale, do you want something to drink?" said Victoria hugging tight her friend.

"Nothing, today I have a bit of nausea, so it's better for my stomach to be empty."

Katrina said more or less the same things to Jane.

"You are a strong woman, Jane..." said Katrina stroking Jane's arm

"I don't know if I am strong or not, I only know that I am a widow, with a 20 weeks bump alone, I don't wish this situation to anybody, Katrina..." Jane's eyes were full of tears.

Jane was up to shook hand and greet the people who came. She was in a corner of the dining room, sometimes a wave of dizziness with a swell of nausea hit her but she could bear them.

"Janey, you can't stay all day on your feet.." Lovejoy looked at Jane, she was pale and she was touching her belly too much. And Lovejoy knew that something was wrong.

"I am well Lovejoy, If I feel bad I'll sit. I promise." but that pain in her belly didn't go away, it was bitter sometimes and she felt dizzy and a bit queasy more frequently.

She pressed a hand against her belly several times, at once Lovejoy seeing that she grimaced too asked her:"Janey, what's the matter with you?"

Jane hadn't time to reply, she turned too quickly her head, she felt hot and cold, her vision blurred and she fainted and fell on the floor.

"Janey!" screamed Lovejoy, he was petrified and he coulnd't move

April was immediately on Jane's side.

"Lovejoy, call an ambulance. I hope she is not miscarrying.. more likely it is a placental adruption." said April sweating nervously. "Be quick! She is bleeding."

"Lord, please, don't let her losing the baby, please." mouthed Alice.

At the hospital Alice and Lovejoy was in the waiting area, he was pacing up and down through the corridor while Alice sat on a chair, with her head between her hands.

"Milady, I know, it's not correct, but I have to say something, I love Jane, I don't want her to lose the baby, I don't want to lose her... I hope God doesn't want to kill her."

"Lovejoy, I know, please, stay calm, all will be well."

"I don't know... and the baby? She couldn't bear the loss of the baby."

"Lovejoy, come here..." said Alice, opening her arms. Lovejoy rested his head on her shoulder.

An hour later Elizabeth stepped out of the examination room.

"Lovejoy, Lady Felsham, you can see Jane now. She is still unconscious, or better she is sleeping."

"How are both?" asked worried Lovejoy.

"The baby is well, the placenta not at the best, but a month of bed rest should do the trick, Jane is too tiny, she is pale, she is anemic, she is too weak, she needs food, liquid and peace. Her girl is a warrior, she has to be the same." said firmly Elizabeth

"Why she fainted? " asked Alice.

"it's called placental abruption ,it is a phenomenon dues to stress or to painful events, Jane was too stressed, she needs really sometimes to recover. She will be discharge tomorrow evenging, do you want to see her? By the way, this ward of hospital allow you to stay how much you want, because she is pregnant."

Alice sat again on the chair: "Thanks God, thanks Alex"

Lovejoy entered very slowly in the room, Jane was propped up with some pillows, she had an IV in the right arm. Her make up stained her face, her dress is folded on a cupboard, she wore a pink hospital nightgown with short sleeve.

Lovejoy sat on a chair near the head of the bed and took Jane's hand.

"Thanks God, thanks God"

April headed quickly back to Felsham Hall.

"Mrs Wilson, Jane is quite well, and the baby is still there. It is strong. I have to take something to her."

"I am very happy, your sisters and the guests are in the drawing room." said Mrs Wilson pouring for April a glass of orange juice.

"Jane is quite well, the baby is well." told Alice to Katrina and Victoria who sighed with relief and went back to the sofa.

"So, she is well.." said Alyssa

"And she didn't lose the baby" said Amelia

"You are two bitches" said April

April came back to hospital very angry. She carried a bag, with two nightgowns, a robe, slippers, knickers, a bra, two pair of sock and something more.

Jane was still sleeping, but Elizabeth said she had given something to make her relax.

Jane woke up with a headache and a dull pain in her belly.

"Janey, stay down, I will call Elizabeth. " said Lovejoy as she tried to sit on the bed, but she felt dizzy and lied back down.

"How do you feel Jane?"asked Elizabeth stepping inside.

"A bit dizzy, I have a headache and a dull pain here." she pressed a hand against her belly.

"Jane you fainted, you have a little abruption of placenta, you have to be at bed rest for a month, after that you could come back to your normal activity, or better, you have to stay on rest until the birth."

"But the baby is well?" asked Jane, she was worried about the baby.

"Yes, it is well, by the way in the IV there is something to feed you, and something to prevents your uterus to contract, the pain will go in a day or two."

Jane stared at the ceiling, her hand on her belly, her mind totally foggy.

"Jane, sorry, I want to check you, if the bleeding stops, or not" said Elizabeth wearing a pair of latex gloves "I am sorry, it could be uncomfortable."

"Where is Lovejoy?" asked Jane with a faintly voice.

"He went out to call Tinker or Eric, but he will be back soon. Jane, try to relax, I know, it is difficult, but it is for your baby's sake."

Lovejoy staid with her overnight, Jane slept quite well, she finally rested, without nightmares or anything, she didn't dream, or at least she didn't remember.

The hospital day started with another checkup on Jane.

Elizabeth arrived with a young nurse and a midwife who was still at midwifery school. "Now I will visit her, please be kind."

"But is she Lady Felsham?"

"Yes, she is, but now she is a patient of our ward, she is 21 weeks pregnant she had a placental adruption, we have to check the cervix, if the vagina still bleeds and her vitals, then we can check the baby"

The trio entered in the room. The nurse measured the pressure. 60-90.

The midwife together with Elizabeth check the womb, the cervix and the bleeding.

"Jane, ok, you are alright, the uterus is still and it's a good thing, because contractions at this moment could be a problem, then you don't bleed anymore, your blood pressure is always too low, try to drink plenty of water or what you want, because the dehydration is the worst thing for the low pressure and for a pregnant woman isn't good. Your baby is doing well, watch the screen.

"It is beautiful..." said Jane with her eyes full of tears.

April spend part of her day with Jane and Lovejoy, she sent her mother to sleep at home after lunch.

"April, I was thinking that you could move to Felsham Hall, to help Jane" said Lovejoy.

"It is lovely, my internship is in Cambridge, but by car it is 20 minutes, I can play the aunt with the baby and look after Jane."

Lovejoy was relieved, somebody better than Tinker or Eric would take care of Jane. A woman in first instance, a pregnancy is ladies stuff, not men even if he had been for months the helpful hand for Jane, he always stood by her when she was sick, he counted how many times, how many times she didn't eat, how many times she screamed:"I am about to faint" so he took her, put her down rose her feet and said her something like:"Easy Janey, deep breaths and ten second with your eyes closed".

"Jane, Elizabeth said you are going better..." said Lovejoy

"Yes..." replied Jane, she was crying.

"Janey, why are you crying?" asked Lovejoy

"Because I am alone... with this thing that is sucking all my energy..."

"I will always be there for you, for both of you. " Lovejoy put a hand on Jane's belly,and for the first time, she covered his hand with hers. "This thing is going to be your biggest joy... and it is helping you to heal from this wound because it needs its mum. And you will be a splendid mother, darling."

The day after Jane was discharged, with a month of bed rest and then a check up to see if the placenta was well.

Lovejoy moved back to Felsham Hall, he found one of the guest rooms quite suitable for him. April started a moving from her share bed sitting room in Cambridge. She was really happy to move with her sister in law. Jane was only 5 years older than April and they went very well together.

Alice too moved to Felsham Hall, she wanted to spend time with both April and Jane. And Tinker was very funny with her.


	8. Dear Baby

Jane was in bed, she was staring at the ceiling of her room. It was a little after 5 in the morning, she had waken up a little early to go to the bathroom and she couldn't sleep anymore when she came back. She adjusted her position on the pillows, her belly was blooming, she was almost 25 weeks pregnant, she put on 3 kilos and she was quite well. Her belly was round, graceful, it suited Jane. She was taking a bit of colour on her cheek and her mood was brighter.

April was in hospital, Lovejoy was in London with her daughter, Tinker was drunk in a spare room, Alice was sleeping in her room and Eric was sleeping on the sofa downstairs.

Jane took the book with the colours to choose the most suitable for the nursery, she knew that Elizabeth had told Lovejoy if her baby was a boy or a girl, but she wanted a complete surprise and she doesn't like pink or blue walls.

She picked a mint green. It was suitable both for a boy or a girl and she said with a hand on the top of her stomach: "If you are a boy I'll paint the door frame with blue, if you are a girl I'll paint it in light purple."

Tinker and Alice had only bought an entire wardrobe of baby clothes all in the shades of pink. Tinker had a soft spot for Alice, and she liked him too.

"So, do you like green for your room, baby Felsham?" asked Jane and she took a thump from her belly as a yes

"Dear baby, I have been carrying you for 25 weeks" said Jane, glancing at the calendar on the bedside table. "You are now quite ready to come into the world, sometimes I fear you want to meet this world too early. You have to stand me at least for more 12 weeks, then you can come into the world. This world is fine, do you believe me? No, nobody believes that this world is fine or is perfect, but it is our world.

You will be a Lady or a Lord when you grow up. You will have a seat in the House of Lords. Our house is so big that when you'll be teenager and you would hide from me you could do it very easily. We have a housekeeper, Mrs Cameron, she is nice. She is sewing something for you, but I don't know what, she said she wants that it is a surprise.

I am an Interior Designer, I hope you take the artistic gene from me and the diplomatic one from your father. Your father is the man who is smiling to me in the silver frame, he is the man I've loved since the first time I saw him. We met in Italy, I was with Annie, a friend of University. He proposed the day of my graduation. We got married in 1979... I am stuck in this bed because of your father. Oh yes dear baby, you know that in this month I was in bed, that my placenta bled and that I was so stressed that I was going to hurting you. I don't want to hurt you, you are my little wee thing, you are my precious jewel.

I love you when you move against my skin, I love when you move against my hand or against someone else's hand. Poor Eric, yesterday he was a bit disappointed, he put a hand on my belly, but you didn't move. He gave you a t shirt of Guns 'n' Roses, I promise I don't force you to wear it.

I think you like very much Alice, Lovejoy and April.

Alice is your grandmother, Alexander's mum, she is a good woman, she is very nice with me and with Tinker. She will take care of us, she is taking care of us. She brings me fruit every day. She is looking after Lovejoy, Tinker and Eric... mostly after Lovejoy, he's never had a problem with the police since Alice is here. Tinker went out for dinner with her Friday night. I can't imagine Alice Felsham, a posh lady, in a pub with girls with short skirts and leather boots. Tinker gave her flowers.

Eric, poor Eric, he is a polytechnic drop out, but he is a good taste for antiques, he bought a mirror in an auction for 20 quip. He is a genius in my opinion, Lovejoy doesn't agree with me...

Do you know Lovejoy, don't you? He is the man who slept with me when I was worn out after your father death. He is taking care of me, or better of us. He wants to buy the crib for you.. he is an antiques dealer, he is my business partner... he is like a brother for me..." Jane felt a very sharp kick in her ribs, she lied, she loved Lovejoy.

"Maybe he is not only like a brother, I don't know if I love him like I have loved your father. He is nice, isn't him?

April will be your aunt, she is your father's younger sister, she is nice, very nice, she is a doctor to be, when you will arrive she will be a proper doctor. And she has an Italian boyfriend, a surgeon from Turin, Mrs Cameron said he phoned some days ago, with a terrible English accent, I can easily imagine it. By the way, April was the first of the family to know that I was expecting you.

I hope you are happy to come to this world, really. Sometimes I guess if you are a boy or a girl... I choose only the name in case you are a girl... you would be Alexandra Love Joy Felsham, in case you are a boy I was thinking about Philip Alexander Felsham, Philip was your grandfather's name...

Today will come Elizabeth and she will tell us if I could get up from this bed.

She will be happy with you, you've grown a lot in the last period, the last time I stood up I didn't recognise myself in the mirror."

Jane wasn't unable to sleep anymore. She spent three hours wondering about her baby.

In the morning Elizabeth arrived a little after 9, she examined Jane and said: "With all the cautions you are not on total bed rest anymore. You can't drive and you can't climb the stairs though. The baby is very well, it is growing properly and your weight is becoming healthy. Your blood pressure is always low, but I can't help this fact. We will see in a few weeks, in case of problem, call me..."

That night Jane was on the sofa, waiting for Lovejoy and April. She was happy, for the first time after Alexander's death she was really happy. Both Jane and her baby were well.

"So, dear baby, today I am happy, really happy. I am really proud of you, you are growing well. I am not in bed all day anymore. Elizabeth said I can have very little walk too. I am happy to carry you, my wee thing, really. I can't wait to hold you in my arms. To sing you lullabies, to read you fairy tales and to teach you all the things you'll need to know. Lovejoy bought you the crib in London.

April today had her last exam and she passed it, so your auntie is going to be a doctor in few months. And her boyfriend is arriving in some weeks. My God, Felsham Hall full of people... it will drive crazy the poor Mrs Wilson. Good night, my love."

Jane didn't see Lovejoy, hidden by the door of her room, he was whispering: "Good night, my girls."


	9. We are waiting for you

Mrs Wilson had been thinking for a long time that her job was very quiet and easy, some groceries and some cleaning, then cooking if Alexander had been at home. Nothing too difficult.

But now, Jane was almost 32 weeks pregnant and in the house lived three more people, Alice, April and Lovejoy. In a couple of months Jane's daughter would have been born so they would be five. And Tinker and Eric very often asked for a dinner or a lunch at Felsham Hall. Mrs Wilson couldn't complain about the new inhabitants. April used to clean up her room and the en suite. She did her own laundry and she cooked very often. Alice too tried to help. Jane would have liked to help but all people around her were very worry about her condition. Her placenta was completely healed after the adruption, she was quite well and she couldn't wait to see her baby.

That morning of July Lovejoy went out at half past 7, Jane knew that he was going to an auction, but when he came back hours later all the ladies of the house were very disappointed.

Really he was out all day and arrived at Felsham Hall after dinner.

"So, Lovejoy, could you please tell us what did you buy at the auction and why did you come home with a broken lip and a black eye?" asked April, putting some cream on Lovejoy's eye and handing him a cloth with some ice cubes in it.

Alice and Jane were on the same sofa. Alice was reading something on a newspaper, Jane instead was half lie on the sofa and she smiled feeling her baby under her hand.

"He bought something he didn't have to. Am I wrong Lovejoy?" asked Jane, rising her feet on the arm of the sofa. She was almost 32 weeks pregnant, she hadn't a very big belly and she didn't put on so much weight, she was 50 kilos before the pregnancy and now she is barely 55, but she was always tired and she felt like a beached whale, even if she was in perfect shape. Her ankles were swelled because she had stood too much that day.

Lovejoy looked at his feet, he was in front of three ladies and an unborn one and he felt terribly awkward.

"Sorry." said Lovejoy, kissing Jane's cheek and resting his hand on her bulging belly.

"It is angry with you because you behaved like a child." said Jane with a little smile on her face. The baby in fact didn't move against Lovejoy's hand.

"Jane, are you tired, honey" asked Alice looking at Jane, she was very tired.

"I go to bed..." said Jane putting her hands on the small of her back. "I am very tired. Lovejoy, could you come with me?"

"Lovejoy, I don't want you in trouble." said Jane, when Lovejoy was talking to her in her room "You know, I can't be preoccupied by anything until this little thing is born." said Jane putting both hands on her baby bump.

"I know, I am very sorry Jane, but it's Charlie's fault." replied Lovejoy looking how beautiful was Jane with her maternity nightgown.

"I look like a beached whale. I can't see my feet anymore." said Jane looking herself into the full length mirror and resting her hands on the small of her back.

"Jane, you are perfectly fine. Now, you have to go to bed. You little one needs some rest." said Lovejoy taking her hand and leading her to the bed.

"Could you rub my ankles?" asked her climbing in the bed and adjusting herself on the pillows. Her ankles were very swollen, she worked all day, she sat down almost nothing and she was really tired, but she had things to do, and she didn't want to give birth with things to do behind her.

"Jane, how many hours did you rest today?" asked Lovejoy.

"Almost nothing, I know, I have to rest, but I have plenty of things to do. The nursery is almost finished, I have to prepare the bag for the hospital. I am almost 32 weeks pregnant."

"You have more than a month ahead."

"We couldn't know. It could arrive early."

"Don't say it Jane." said Lovejoy. He knew she would be asleep within minutes and he hoped she could rest properly that night, sometimes she suffered from insomnia.

Jane fell asleep while Lovejoy was rubbing her swollen ankles, he put her under the covers and gave a little rub to her bump.

"My little girl, let mummy sleep... And you can't come to this world before September."

Jane woke up at 3, she sat on the bed, she was sure that a contraction had awaken her. She put her hand on the base of her belly, it was hard. She breathed deeply, and waited in silence few minutes. After ten minutes another contraction.

Jane looked at the ceiling: "It's too early, no, please."

She got up, a bit unsteady.

April was asleep at her desk, as usual, in the room next to Jane's one.

"April" called Jane on the verge of tears.

"Jane, what's the matter? Are you ok?"

"I have contractions." said Jane sinking on the bed and shaking.

"Jane, keep calm, even if it is labour you are 32 weeks pregnant so no harm for the baby."

"But it's too early..." Jane started to cry and April sat next to her with a hand on her baby bump and the other around her shoulders.

"Shh, I am not saying that you are in labour, only two contractions don't mean it. But we are going to the hospital though. No joke, baby Felsham."

In the A&E the nurse sent them to a little room. She eased Jane on the examination table and said: "Relax, Elizabeth is on call tonight."

"Jane, what's the matter?" asked Elizabeth while she prepared Jane for the foetal monitor.

"I had contractions."

"Painful?"

"Yes, a bit, they woke me up. I am very concerned Elizabeth, it's too early."

"Jane, relax, now, I will monitor your baby and then I will examine you. So you can stay calm. Now, rise your blouse please."

"I don't think it was labour" said April, sitting on a chair and yawing.

"Me neither, April, but I want to be sure." said Elizabeth smiling at the young woman.

The doctor looked at the two women from her reading glasses, she was reading the results from the foetal monitor.

"Jane, you are not in labour, just Braxton Hicks contractions. Try to rest tomorrow, and keep your feet risen, they are a bit swollen. But your blood pressure is fine, a bit too low as usual. You are okay and the baby too." said the doctor giving Jane a hand to help her to sit on the examination table.

"So, what I have to do?" asked Jane closing her blouse.

"Nothing, you have to stay as calm as possible, don't drive and try not to climb the stairs. And you can go to April's graduation next week." said proudly Elizabeth

"Are you graduating next week?" asked Jane a bit surprised.

"It was a surprise, don't tell a thing to mum, alright?" said April collecting Jane exams and heading out of the room.

"Jane, you are doing very well. Try to eat a little more though." said Elizabeth greeting out of the examination room the two women.

Jane fell asleep as soon as she sat on the car seat. April let her sleep and woke her when they arrived at Felsham Hall. Mrs Wilson was on the doorstep with her hands sunk in her hips.

"Where have you been?" asked a bit concerned.

"Nothing, Mrs Wilson, just contractions, no baby Felsham until September."

"April, today I have to pack the hospital bag and finish that bloody nursery and finished some jobs for Lovejoy, I don't want to leave anything behind me if this little thing decides to arrive early." said Jane sitting on the sofa.

"April, Jane, what's happened last night?" asked Alice with a tray in her hands.

"Nothing, mum, Jane had contractions and I took her to the hospital, but it was nothing. Only a bit of tiredness."

"You have to eat, here, have some breakfast, then, April go to bed, you need some sleeping and you Jane, you too should go to bed."

"But I can't sleep. It's always the same story, I am tired, but I can't sleep."

Paolo landed in England that morning. He took a train from Heathrow to Cambridge and then a taxi from Cambridge to a rural street.

"I have to go to Felsham Hall..." told him to the taxi driver.

"Go down this street for 10 miles and you arrive."

The taxi driver was finishing his shift within minutes and a trip to Felsham Hall meant an hour an half more.

Paolo was desperate. He sat on a bench when he saw a motorbike, driven by Eric.

"Sorry, I have to go to Felsham Hall." said with a very sharp Italian accent.

"Paolo, aren't you? I am going there, come aboard."

"How do you know me?" asked the young doctor.

"April talk about you" replied Eric

"Here we are, Felsham Hall."

"I was thinking that Felsham Hall would have been a town or a village." said a very surprised Paolo.

"No, it is Lady Felsham's home."

Paolo looked at the enormous building, he felt a bit awkward, he was nothing more than a young doctor.

"Ladies!" called Eric from the hallway.

"What's the matter Eric?" asked Alice, she wasn't dressed yet, she wore only her night and dressing gown.

"There's Paolo."

"Really, let him inside, April is in her room" said Alice very surprised.

Paolo stepped inside and he was welcomed by Jane and Alice.

"Hello" said very shyly.

"You are Paolo, I am Jane, nice to meet you" said Jane, breathless because she got up too quickly from the sofa.

"I am Alice, April's mother."

"She had never talked about a mother."

"We met properly each other only a little time ago. So where are you from?"

"I am from Turin, I am a doctor, like April. And I am here, it's a surprise, I wrote her a week ago and I told her that I couldn't come."

"Now I understand why April was crying Saturday night and she said that men are all stupid things." said Jane smiling tenderly at the young physician.

"Ops, I am sorry. But really I wasn't sure until I sat on the airplane to be able to come here."

"You are doing a nice thing Paolo." said Alice "Do you want something for breakfast?" asked to Paolo.

"I am a bit hungry really. I landed at 2 AM in London."

"Eat something, then I will go to call April. She is resting, Jane and her had a very eventful night."

"I thought I was in labour." said Jane smiling and rubbing gently her baby bump.

"How far are you?" asked Paolo, looking at Jane.

"32 weeks. Almost done." replied Jane.

"Do you know the sex?"

"No, they know, but I don't want to know, I want it to be a surprise."

Alice went upstairs to call April. She was asleep on the top of her bed.

"April, darling, could you come downstairs?" asked gently her mother.

"Mum, let me sleep, please." said April

"Someone is downstairs and can't wait to hug you."

"Mum, I need to sleep..." said April getting up from the bed and following her mother in the sitting room.

"So, it's a joke, where is the guest?" asked a bit angry April, she was really tired and she had her period, she put a hand on her cramping abdomen and said: "Please, mum, I want to go to bed and I need an Aspirin."

"Do you want an Aspirin darling?" asked Paolo with a bunch of flowers in his hands.

"Paolo" said April with her hand on her mouth. "When did you arrive?"

"I arrived at Heathrow last night, a bloke called Eric brought me there. He works with someone called Lovejoy."

"So, did you met mum, Alice Felsham, my sister in law, Jane Felsham."

April and Paolo spent the entire day talking and walking in the garden. Jane looked at them from the windows, she was stuck on the sofa that day, Alice was worried about her.

April's graduation day

April woke up very early that day. It was about 4 o'clock, it was her graduation day. At half past 5 she was in the kitchen, dressed very smartly with a cup of coffee in her hand. She had her robe and hat hanged in the hall.

Mrs Wilson arrived in the kitchen at half past 6 and said: "I am so proud of you. I am very happy you will celebrate it with all your family. I have a little present for you" the housekeeper handed April a little box.

It was a bracelet, a very nice bracelet and April was very happy with this present.

Jane climbed down the stairs, Lovejoy was still asleep in another room.

"So, are you excited?" asked Jane to April, squeezing April's arm and pulling her in a hug.

"I am so happy. We are all together. And Paolo and you and the baby." said April putting her hand on Jane's baby bump.

"I think it is quite tired to be here, last night it moved like crazy." said Jane, smiling gently. She looked very tired that morning.

"Where are Mum and Tinker?" asked April.

"They are having breakfast at the pub. We pick them up when we are going to Cambridge." said Jane pouring some tea into her cup.

"April, are you nervous?" asked Paolo buttoning her shirt.

"You are nervous Paolo, you have been restless for all the night, I slept almost nothing because of you. Come here, have some breakfast, then we can go."

"I am going to wake up Lovejoy, I think he had a very late night yesterday." said Jane taking up a tray.

"Lovejoy, wake up!" said Jane putting the tray on the bedside table.

"What's the matter Jane?"

"April's graduation, we have to go in Cambridge at 10 o'clock, it's almost 8. Get up!"

At half past 10 Lady April Felsham was doctor April Felsham, she was happy really happy. Her family and her new friends were there. Her mother was smiling at her when she went to shake her professors' hands. Jane was happy, she saw a lot of Alexander in April. Paolo was happy, proud and amazingly in love with her. Lovejoy was happy that Jane was happy. Tinker and Eric were very happy too.

While they were taking pictures, Jane found the old bench were many years before Alexander had proposed her.

"You know, my wee thing, your father asked me to marry him here, on this bench. It was my graduation day, like today for your aunt. I didn't have any family here. But your father was there and he gave me a nice ring and a bunch of flower" said Jane putting a hand on her bump and the baby moved against her hand.

That night April had her graduation's party. Mrs Wilson was going crazy because there were too many people at Felsham Hall. It was a nice summer night.

Jane and Alice were sitting on the bench in the garden. They were looking at the young people dancing and laughing in the moonlight.

"I am happy, Alice, very happy tonight" said Jane sipping her apple juice.

"Me too, I am very happy too, I am proud of April, I am very happy for her and Paolo. They are so cute together. I wish them the best. How is my grandchild?"

"Well, its mother is fed up, but it is very fine" said Jane smiling gently and put her hand on her belly.

"May I?" asked Alice putting her opened hand on Jane's baby bump.

"Are you feeling it?" asked Jane relaxing and thinking that she was a lucky woman.

"Yes, I am feeling it, I am happy for you Jane. Really" said Alice.

"You know Alice, this baby is giving me the strength to lift my head from the pillow in the morning, this baby is making me think that this world is not so bad as it seems."

"This baby reminded me that I have a fantastic daughter in law and an amazing daughter."

Alice and Jane hugged and April was looking at them from the patio, she was talking to a friend: "You see, Bessy, my mum had never behaved like a mum before my brother's death. Now we are all happy and with my niece on the way."

Four weeks and two days later.

August was a nightmare for Jane, it was hot and very wet. She spent the whole month on the sofa. She felt fainting every time she stood up, she was fed up, her back was constantly hurting, her ankles were always swollen, she had contractions, but her doctor kept saying that all was well and that she was close to the birth. Alice was reassuring her that was completely normal feeling poorly at that stage of pregnancy.

Now it was September, 2nd September. Jane was on the sofa, as usual, she was reading a book. Her ankles in Lovejoy's lap. She suddenly putting a hand on the belly and she grimaced.

"Jane, what's the matter?" asked Lovejoy, rubbing her ankles.

"A painful contraction. What time is it?" said Jane glancing at the clock on the wall.

"It's 9:35" said Lovejoy.

Ten minutes later another contraction, twenty minutes later another one. Jane tried to get up from the sofa and said: "Lovejoy, I think I am really in labour now."

"Are you sure?" asked Lovejoy jumping on his feet and collecting things, like the hospital bag which was in the hallway, the folder with all Jane's exams, car's key, Jane herself and his driving licence.

"Yes, I am sure" said Jane breathing deeply "Thank God April is on duty tonight. Call Alice upstairs, or better, tell her what is happening."

Lovejoy ran upstairs and after two minutes he was downstairs again.

When they arrived at the hospital April was waiting for them outside: "Mum rang me and said you are in labour"

"Yes, I think so, I have contractions every seven minutes now" replied Jane, while April was leading her to an examination room.

"Lovejoy, could you wait here please?" asked April pointing a chair.

"Jane, you are indeed in labour" said a little after Doctor Carter, the A&E gynecologist. "I am sending you in the maternity ward."

April smiled gently at Jane and squeezed her shoulder.

"Jane, Elizabeth is on call, you are lucky. But I think it could be a long thing. You are not so open, only 2 centimeters, you have to arrive at ten"

"It's painful" said Jane, while the midwifery was putting on her belly the foetal monitor

"I know, deep breathes, don't panicking. It's a natural process, I am here, and Lovejoy is here too, he is only out of the door."

Jane relaxed a little when her sister in law brushed away from her face some hair.

Elizabeth examined Jane and said: "Ok, Jane, you have to walk a little, not so much, but a little. April, could you call Lovejoy?"

Jane and Lovejoy walked almost three hours up and down the corridors. The contractions were very erratic but very painful. Jane squeezed Lovejoy's hand every time and she grimaced in pain.

"Shhh, Janey, all will be well, you are bringing your little thing into the world" said gently Lovejoy, helping her on the bed when Elizabeth called them to examine Jane again.

"Jane, well done, you are almost complete" said Elizabeth putting down the hem of the night gown.

"It's so painful, it's too painful…" said Jane squeezing again Lovejoy's hand.

April and Elizabeth were talking about Jane out of the room.

"April, come inside, bring your own niece to the world."

"Why?"

"Because she is your niece. It won't be long, by 8 o'clock we will have a baby Felsham in the nursery."

April stepped inside and told to Jane: "When you need to push, give me one good push."

Jane screamed, swore and insulted Lovejoy. He instead, like a perfect man, told her words of comfort, told her how wonderful she was and that all would have been over in a while.

"Jane, I can see the head!" shouted April looking at her exhausted sister in law.

Jane screamed again.

"A little push and it's done" said April happily, taking some blankets from the nurse beside her.

Jane felt the little body out of her and a little cry.

"Jane, it's a girl!" said proudly April.

April wrapped the baby girl into the blankets and put her on Jane's chest. Jane cried tears of true joy and she was immediately in love with her daughter.

"I am so happy, Jane" said April writing something on a sheet of paper and letting her tears falling down her cheek. "What's her name?"

"Alexandra Love Joy Felsham" said firmly Jane, while the nurse was washing and checking on the baby.

"She was born at 7:29AM of the 3rd September 1986"

Lovejoy was waiting for Jane in her room, he had a bunch of flowers in her hand and a very idiot face.

"Lovejoy, may introduce you Alexandra Love Joy Felsham?" said Jane showing Lovejoy a sleeping baby-

"She looks like you." said Lovejoy giving Jane the flowers and hugging her and the baby.

Lovejoy had never seen a such lovely scene before. Her Janey with a pink night gown was holding in her arms a bundle of blanket in it a very beautiful little girl.

In that moment he was thinking: "Yes, Jane, Yes Alexandra, I will take always care of both of you."

Alice and Mrs Wilson arrived together at the hospital. Mrs Wilson gave Jane a pink little blanket. While Alice was so happy that she cried for almost an hour.

Alice and Lovejoy came back together to Felsham Hall, letting Jane and Alexandra resting with the promise of coming back later.

"So, Lovejoy, I need something to drink and I want to ask you some question."

It was barely 10 o'clock and they were having gin and tonic.

"What do you want to ask me, Alice?"

"Are you going to marry Jane, Lovejoy?" asked Alice smiling gently.

"Yes, I want to marry her, I want to take care of her until the end of my days."

Alice looked proudly at Lovejoy, then she looked at the sky. She was sure that somewhere in Heaven Alexander was happy too, looking at her wife, at her daughter and at the man who really loved Jane.


	10. Can you feel the love tonight?

Jane looked tenderly at her baby sleeping in her arms, she was sleeping, alleluia, she had been awake almost all the night and Jane with her. Alexandra was very quiet in the day, but in the night she almost didn't sleep at all. Jane was surviving with three hours of sleep every night and she fell asleep during dinner many times. Alice knew that taking care of a baby was a very difficult task, she had taken care of three children, she had only a nanny when April had been born.

The following day Lovejoy was stepping inside the sitting room, but he stopped when he saw Jane with her baby, Alexandra was looking deeply at her smiling mother, with her mouth around her nipple and her chubby hand on her swollen breast, Jane was looking and was talking to her.

"So, Alexandra, you are going to be christening tomorrow, are you happy? I am so happy that you are there darling, you are one month old but you are a fantastic baby. You are always happy and you are quite fond of Lovejoy, he could be your dad one day, I think I love him, but he has never told me the same..."

Lovejoy closed the door and sat on a chair. Jane loved him, he loved Jane, it was perfect. He had bought an engagement ring some month before because his biggest dream was to be Jane's husband.

Alexandra's Christening

It was a bright Sunday of October, Jane was happy, she smiled while April helped her into her new dress, a light blue one. Jane had lost almost immediately the weight gained during the pregnancy and the only keepsake of having carried a child was her swollen breast and some little stretch marks.

"Jane, you look stunning." said April looking at Jane and smiling.

"Are you ready godmother?" asked Jane, taking Alexandra from her crib and eased her into the pram.

"I don't know, it's a great thing. I hope to be a good godmother. How about the godfather?"

"He was at an auction at Gimber's, so he arrives directly at the church." said Jane closing her bedroom door and walking out.

The ceremony was very touching and Jane was really happy.

They had many guests, but Alice wasn't so pleased, April convinced Jane to invited also her sisters.

"Mum, you can't be angry with them forever." said April taking her mother arms while they were walking back to Felsham Hall.

"I know April, really, but they behaved very badly, and I don't want them to ruin this day, so if they behave like stupid monkey I will kick them off." replied Alice quickening her step and joining Jane.

"Did you know about Alyssa and Amelia?" asked Alice

"Yes, I do, but I didn't want to upset you..."

"Thank you, Jane, if I get drunk please keep me out of their sight." joked Alice.

Mrs Wilson prepared an outstanding feast and was really happy, she started to know better Jane and she really liked her.

Lovejoy, Eric and Tinker was walking together: "So, Lovejoy, are going to give Jane the ring?"

"Yes, Tink, I think is the right moment." replied Lovejoy.

"Do you love her, Lovejoy?" asked Eric with his hands dug into his pocket.

"I love her because she is like the cream on the strawberry and she has green eyes like a tropical island."

"You are quoting a song Lovejoy, it is Italia, Eugenio Finardi, 1981, Patrizia, right?"

"Golly, Eric, you listen to something that is not heavy metal?"

"Paolo gave me the disc."

"Alyssa, Amelia,I am so happy that you are both coming. She is Alexandra Love Joy Felsham, your niece." said Jane holding tightly Alexandra, who was wide awake and looking her aunts.

"She is really beautiful." said Alyssa "How old is she?" asked

"She was born on the 3rd of September." replied Jane, easing back the baby girl in her arms and rocking her lightly.

"You didn't hire a nanny." said sharply Amelia

"No, I didn't, I have plenty of people who could take care of Ale just in case." replied smiling Jane.

Jane's friends were all very happy for the baby and very happy that Jane was well and happy too.

"She looks like you" said Victoria

"She has also something of Alex, truly." said Jane, rocking a little Alexandra who was awake "We are awake, aren't we? You are you mummy's girl, aren't you?"

"Jane you are a perfect mum" said Katrina looking at Jane talking with her daughter.

After the party Jane was resting on the sofa, while Lovejoy was bathing Alexandra, he was really good as a dad.

"So, did Alice make peace with Alyssa and Amelia?" asked Jane looking at April who was resting against Paolo's chest.

"More or less, she didn't talk with them actually, she only greeted them when they arrived."

"And they didn't anything to make peace as well, but at least they behaved properly, by the way, where is your mother?" asked Jane

"She went out with Tink tonight."

In fact Alice and Tinker were sitting at the pub, drinking gin and tonic and eating crisp, Tinker made Alice feeling loved, she was very happy when she spent time with him. He was a real gentleman.

"So, Alice, are you happy?" asked Tinker stroking Alice's hand.

"Yes, really happy and by the way I am divorcing by my American husband, I married him without ever loved him. I want to be free Tinker..."

Tinker looked at the woman, she was really beautiful and maybe after many year he was falling in love, maybe.

Lovejoy called Jane when he finished Alexandra's bath and Jane lifted her baby to from the changing table and she eased her in her arms to feed her.

When she finished she said: "Lovejoy, are you ok? You have spent the whole day a bit with your head in another place, something is worrying you?"

"No, Janey... only put Alexandra into her crib and then I want to have a talk with you."

Jane was worrying about Lovejoy was going to tell her, she was worrying it was something involving police and stolen goods.

Alexandra was a bit fussy that night in fact Jane gave up the idea of the lullaby and instead called back Lovejoy in her room.

"I am sorry, but Ale doesn't want to sleep, and she cries if I put her down." said Jane with her baby against her shoulder, she was sitting on her bed with a pillow behind her. "I am worrying, what's the matter Lovejoy?"

"Jane, I love you." he said it, he finally said it.

"What?" asked Jane

"I love you, and I want you to become my wife one day." replied Lovejoy taking Jane's left hand.

"Is this a proposal?" asked Jane with wide eye

"Yes, it is, we can wait all the time you want, I don't mean to be pushing, but I want you to know that I want to married you. I bought it in Cambridge it isn't an antiques, it is a real engagement ring."

He took the little box from his pocket and open it in front of Jane, putting the ring on her slender finger.

He climbed close to her on the bed and they kissed, their first kiss, with the baby girl looking with curiosity at them and her little fists into the air.

Then Lovejoy put her arm around Jane's shoulder and they looked together at Alexandra who was staring at her with absolutely surprising eyes.

"Ale, he is going to be your dad" whispered Jane by Alexandra ear.


	11. April, come she will

It had been snowing for all day, the streets were icy and April was on a 24 hours shift. She had had a terrible headache for all day and she arrived at the hospital in a bad mood.

At midnight she was sitting on chair into the nurses' station with the other doctors, they talked about the holidays and about Christmas presents.

"There was a car accident on the motorway, ten cars involved. Almost 50 people." Said one of the nurses.

April took a breath and stand up, she wore the green overcoat and waited with the other. The chief of A&E gave to each doctor a different patient. April got a woman, young, 30, very injured.

When she arrived April tried to focus on the patient, but she couldn't, when they stripped her, April ran her hand on her torso. That woman was pregnant.

"I need an ultrasound scan" shouted April to a nurse "…and a midwife"

Several minutes later, April was sitting on the floor of the emergency room, with the plates of the defibrillator still in her hands.

Womb's rupture and cardiac arrest. She bled to death and April felt so sick and so dizzy.

"I have never lost two people in a row" said sadly to a nurse, the midwife couldn't do anything. The baby was already dead.

April tried to get up from the floor, but she collapsed against the waste paper bin where she emptied her stomach.

"April, go home." Said the chief of A&E, a nice and sweet woman "If you need to talk, call me. Now you have only to rest."

"I feel so bad."

"I know that feeling, April, it is part of our job. I am very sorry… but you have done an outstanding job with the other patients, and another thing, there's a young man, he is not bad injured, only a little cut on his knee, he wants you."

"I might throw up again." Said April with her hand on her mouth

"April deep breaths, it's only a sensation."

"I feel so dizzy."

"Do you want a banana bag?" asked the older doctor

"No, thank you…"

"I don't want you to faint somewhere.. go to that boy."

The boy was Eric, he slipped on the icy road and had little cut on in eyebrow and another on his knee.

"April, I am driving you home, my motorbike is destroyed."

"Thank you Eric"

"Do you need anything?" asked the boy a bit worried by April's paleness

She threw up again into a bucket and collapsed against the wall, Eric lifted her and put her into her car.

Eric and April arrived at home at 4 o'clock in the morning. He took her to her room and went to woke both Jane and Alice.

"April may need both of you" said the young man a bit sorry because Jane looked exhausted and also Alice was pretty tired.

"What's happened?" asked Jane checking on Alexandra in the crib

"There was a car accident and April lose a patient."

"Oh, poor dear." Said Alice, putting her hand on her mouth "Jane, come back to sleep, I am going to talk to my daughter."

April was on her bed, with her books in her lap.

"April"

"Mother, go away, please, go away, I don't want to talk to anyone."

"April, what's happened at the hospital?" asked Alice, sitting on a chair.

"Car accident, a lot of wounded, pregnant woman, 23 weeks, womb rupture, cardiac arrest, she is dead now." Said April and then crying she shouted: "I lost her, and her baby. I couldn't do anything"

"April, you are an outstanding doctor."

"I know, but it's hard."

Alice let her daughter cry against her breast, she felt the hot tears damped her nightgown, and she wrapped her arms tightly against her.

"April, you know that you should have been born on June, instead you were born on 12th April. I had a car accident, a stupid one, but I broke my pelvis, completely, into two parts, I was 32 weeks pregnant."

April now was looking into her mother's eyes.

"They did a cesarean section to bring you to the world, because my uterus ruptured and I was bleeding very badly, your dad instead, who was driving was perfectly fine. He felt very badly for it.

I had an hysterectomy, I was going to be dead, the doctor explained me that I had cut from the fundus to the cervix, they only saved my ovaries. And I hired a nanny because I spent three months in hospital to have my pelvis recovered. And I was too depressed, I was young, but I didn't have my uterus anymore, it was stupid, but I felt very depressed.

Your dad spent days near you crib into the high care nursery, he talked to you a lot, and he kept saying that you looked like my mum and like his mum. And it was true. Because now I understand how marvelous you are, you are absolutely your daddy's girl. He would be proud of you, and also of Jane."

April fell asleep and was awaken the day after, almost at noon by Jane, she was walking down the stairs with Alexandra in her arms and she was singing her "April come she will" by Simon and Garfunkel.

"Auntie April, mum would like to take you out this afternoon, while I am going to stay with Lovejoy and I am going to my first auction." Said Jane smiling talking for April.

Two hours later Jane and April were going to Cambridge for some shopping, Lovejoy was playing with her baby daughter-to-be at the auction instead of pay attention to the auctioneer. And Alice went to the churchyard, to her husband grave.

"Philip we made a fantastic daughter, you should be proud of her. And do you think that Lovejoy and Jane would be happy… and what about me and Tinker?" Alice looked to a little bird who was right on the tomb stone and she said: "Philip, I think it is a yes."


	12. Mothers and Daughters

April and Jane were walking along a street in Cambridge. April was very upset and Jane tried to make her buy a new dress.

"April, it isn't your fault at all…" said Jane, looking at April who was on the verge of tears seeing a pregnant woman in a shop.

"Mummy talked to me last night, but I still want to ask her something more." Said April.

"What are you going to ask to your mother?" asked Jane

"She had never wanted me" said sharply April and looking at Jane she said: "Please, take me home, I have to talk with mum."

"I want you to eat something, you haven't eaten anything in 24 hours and you have been sick too many times."

"I still have nausea, Jane and I am still dizzy."

"Come home, darling, try to talk with Alice and then rest. I don't like that you have shacking hands."

Alice was on the sofa, looking some old pictures into an album.

"Mum, I would like to talk to you" said April stepping into the sitting room.

"Yes, of course darling. Jane, honey, Lovejoy is with Alexandra and Tinker at the pub."

"Poor little girl, only 4 months old and she is at the pub" smiling Jane going to her room.

Jane didn't went to her room, but sat on a chair into the hallway, she was curious about Alice and April's past.

"Mum, I have known since Alex died that you had never wanted me, could you please explain me why, and why after your recovery you had never tried to build up a kind of relationship with me?" asked April, keeping her breath trying to not be sick again.

"I have always known that you are smart, and that you want to know." Said Alice, putting an arm around April shoulder.

April breathed in her mother scent and she managed to calm a bit her nerves.

"You know that you are only a bit younger than Alyssa."

"I know, we are only 18 months a part."

"I got pregnant with you that your sister was 10 months old. I had been breastfeeding and at that time the doctor said I couldn't get pregnant, even if I had started my period again. When a month later I started to feel ill I didn't give much case, I have three little children to take care of. I thought it was only a bout of stomach flu. But after two weeks your dad brought me to the doctor. She looked at me and said that I was almost 10 weeks pregnant, and that I had to rest, because Alyssa was born by the c-section. I remember I spent a week in bed thinking about what to do, I didn't feel ready for another child. I felt really bad, but your father was so happy. One night I went to my sister in London only to take my mind of your siblings."

"And what aunt Anna said?" asked April, with the tears in her eyes.

"She said that a child was a blessing, that I shouldn't be so desperate and that all would have been fine. But I still felt bad, I hated my body, I hated my breast growing, I hated showing my baby bump, and after three pregnancy with you I started to show at 12 weeks."

"And dad?"

"He was so happy, he spent hours talking to my belly, he wanted to feel every movements, while I was almost ignoring them, he talked to you, he kept saying that I was beautiful, I felt like a beached whale. The night we had the accident we were arguing about you, really I was having really bad mood swings and Alex and Amelia were impossible to manage, I didn't get any sleep, I was always so tired and so fed up. And you were a very active baby. I wanted to give you in adoption. But when I was on the examination table into the emergency room I changed my mind; I remember that I shouted to the doctor to save the baby instead of me, I passed out three times I think and I remember that they took me to the recovery room and your dad was beside me with a sheet of paper. He chose your name, he said that you were our spring miracle so you are April Spring Benedetta Felsham. I have been depressed for so many years. Do you remember?"

"Yes, I remember, but why have you never talked to anybody about it?"

"Because in the 60's if you were depressed they thought that you were mad."

April looked at Alice and said: "Mum, you were very brave, but only one thing, why you had never tried to build up a relationship with me when I was at high school?"

Alice looked at her feet, she felt a bit ashamed.

"I am sorry April, so sorry."

"Don't be mum, now you have time to build up a nice relationship, maybe it is the last present from Alexander and dad to us."

"It is really a good present. I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too mum"

That talk made Jane thought about her mother, she hadn't phoned her in months, even in years, she didn't tell her that she was pregnant, and when Alex died she received only a little card with the condolences.

Jane's parents had divorced when Jane was only a young girl, her mother got married again and her father worked on the oil tankers, so he had never been a proper family man.

"May I talk to Meg, please?" asked Jane at the phone

"Surely, hang on a minute." Replied the feminine voice on the other side of the phone.

Jane breathed deeply, one hand against her chest, her heart was pounding under her breastbone.

"Hello"

"Mum"

"Jane, how are you?"

"Do you like to come here tomorrow for the tea? There are few people I want you to meet."

Jane was nervous that afternoon. She was nervous about meeting her mother. Mrs Wilson prepared tea and something nice to eat.

Alexandra was sleeping into her crib and ready to meet her other grandmother.

Lovejoy, Tinker and Eric weren't at home, they would arrive just in time to meet Meg.

"Mum" said Jane opening the door to her mother.

"Jane, how are you? You are awfully tiny, as usual and you are also tired, are you well? And what's happened to your boobs?"

"I am well mum, I am really well, and my boobs are the results of…" Jane stepped into the living room and took Alexandra out of her crib "Alexandra, she is your granddaughter, she was born on the 3rd of September."

Alexandra looked at the older woman with wide eyes.

"Jane, she is so beautiful, she is only Alexandra?"

"No, she is Alexandra Love Joy" said Alice coming to greet Jane's mother.

"And I am April, nice to meet Meg." Said April coming into the living room with a tray in her hands "I am Alexander's sister."

"And I am Lovejoy, he is Tinker and he is Eric" said Lovejoy stepping inside through the main door.

Meg was a bit confused by all those people around her daughter, she knew how looked like Felsham Hall at the time of Jane's wedding, a full staff of servants, Lord and Lady Felsham, their children.

Now it was very different. But her daughter looked very happy and that baby was absolutely beautiful.

"Mum, do you want to join us for dinner?" asked Jane

"Yes, I would like to." Replied Meg with Alexandra in her arms.

At dinner they were chatting when Lovejoy stood up and said: "Jane and I have an announcement…"

Jane went beside him.

"We are going to be married this summer." Said Jane with a glass of wine in her hand.

"Really?" asked Alice, with happy tears in her eyes

"Yes…."

Alice looked at the ceiling of the room and mouthed: "My boys, you have done an excellent job"


	13. I love her

Sorry For the enormous delay

Lovejoy and Tinker were in a pub. Jane was in Norwich, some meeting with a client. While Lovejoy was taking care of Alexandra, like a good dad.

Tinker loved to see Lovejoy playing the dad with the baby girl, he was very caring and the role really suited him. Alexandra smiled at both of the men. Alexandra was an happy girl, because her mum was more than happy, she was over the moon.

"Lovejoy, may I ask you a serious question?" asked Tinker sipping his gin and tonic

"Of course Tinker, but I can't lend you any money."

"No, it's not for money. I was wondering why do you love Jane so much?"

Tinker had seen the relationship between Jane and Lovejoy from the day in which Lovejoy went to Felsham Hall and Jane was in her purple dress. Lovejoy had fallen in love with her that night.

"It's a difficult question, what do you think Ale, uncle Tinker asks too difficult question to your old dad?"

Alexandra smiled looking at Tinker.

"I think you have to reply me, because also your precious girl wants a reply."

On the back ground the radio played Eva by Umberto Tozzi.

"I like this song. But I don't know what it means." said Lovejoy, trying to change the topic of the discussion.

"It means that the love between him and his Eva is the only thing that it's going to save them."

"Do you know Italian?"

"Of course, I went to Florence for two months to help during the flood of 1966. But I want a reply... and Alexandra too, you are going to be her dad forever she has the right to know why you do love her mum." replied Tinker taking the baby girl in his arms.

"You Tink, I have loved Jane since that day one year and half ago at Felsham Hall, when she smiled to me when she came to open the door, the fact we got almost drunk in her attic looking for some nice antiques drinking Moet. Or when we got involved in that thing with the Judas Pairs, or when I went to Venice and she was very worried and I felt very guilty because I spent a night with that American woman, Nancy, or how she was called." said Lovejoy taking a long sip from his pimms.

"I love her because she is nice with me, she takes care of me properly, I know she loves me when she is angry with me because I am in some sort of trouble. I know I love her when I look at her getting dressed or when she feeds Alexandra, I love her smile to this little girl. I love her when she kiss me so well, I love her because she has agreed to be my wife. I love her because I want to stay with her as long as I live on this Earth, I want to be her best friend, I want to be Alexandra's and maybe some more babies' dad." said Lovejoy smiling at Tinker who was very satisfied because it was what he wanted to heard from him.

In the meanwhile Jane had arrived from her meeting, she was beautiful, she was happy, she took her baby girl in her arms and hugged tightly Lovejoy.

"I love you" mouthed Lovejoy

"I love you because you love me" replied Jane smiling tenderly against his mouth.


	14. I love him

Jane woke up a little after 3 in the morning. No Lovejoy. He had left that morning to go to London with Charlie Gimbert and Tinker. And no one of them was back at home that night.

Jane stared at the ceiling then a little cry from the crib woke her up completely. She took Alexandra in her arms and opened the front of her nightgown and offered her right breast to her little daughter.

"Alexandra, could you explain me why Lovejoy sometimes behaves like a stupid child and doesn't come home at night and doesn't make a phone call to tell me that he is safe and sound?"

Alexandra looked at her mother with wide eyes. Jane let fall a tear.

She loved that stupid man, she loved him very much and she didn't want him to be in trouble.

The following day Jane got up with a terrible headache.

"I am going to kill that man." told Jane to Mrs Wilson, while the housekeeper was pouring some coffee into her cup.

"What's wrong with Mr Lovejoy?" asked Mrs Wilson quite surprised.

"He didn't come home last night, neither Mr Tinker, I would like to know what's happened. I am not eating anything, I am not hungry at all. Could you look after Alexandra until lunch, I have to find Lovejoy."

"Yes, Lady Jane, do you have some milk to leave to me?" asked the housekeeper.

"There's a bottle in the fridge. She ate before I go down, so like half an hour ago and in my opinion she will be asleep at least until 10."

Jane got dressed very quickly. A simple jumper, a pair of jeans and her green wellies.

Her hair was tight in a ponytail and she drove a bit too fast to the hospital, April was finishing her night shift at 8:30.

"April, hello darling, you have to come with me." said Jane, seeing her sister in law in the hospital yard.

"Jane, what's happened?" asked the red headed doctor a bit concerned for Jane.

"Lovejoy didn't come home last night."

"Oh my. I am coming with you."

"We are going in London." said Jane.

"In London?"

"Yes, Lovejoy was going to London yesterday. I know where he was going. So it will be more easy find him."

"I hope so." said April.

"Are you well?" asked Jane, April was awfully pale.

"Yes, I am a bit tired. It have been a very tiring night shift."

"Try and nap a little now, it is about three hours to arrive in London."

Jane loved dearly London, she studied there and she thought it was the most beautiful city in the world. But that day she didn't care about it, she was looking for her man.

Jane and April went to the auction room, but the director told them that the police had taken Lovejoy, Tinker and Charlie Gimert away.

"He is again in trouble, April, he is again in trouble." kept saying Jane until she sat on the floor and breathed deeply. "I love him, April, I really love him. I want him to be my husband, I want to rise Alexandra with him. But he can't behave always like a child."  
"Jane, I am sure he is not in trouble again. He have been working well in the last period of time. Try to be positive. Jane, I have a problem too. A big one, or better, it could be a big one."

Jane looked at April, the young woman was very pale and very tired and she was quite sure about she was going to say.

"I am late. My period, I mean, it's late, it's never late. And Paolo and I had sex a bit too much when he was there." said April starting to cry.

"April, now, we are going to a pharmacy and I buy you a pregnancy test kit. If you are pregnant I am sure both you and Paolo are going to be happy."

"At the moment I want only to die."

"April, keep calm, don't freak out. Alexandra needs a cousin."

Jane was hoping that April was pregnant. While April was praying for the test to be negative.

When they arrived at the police Jane was very nervous.

"I am Mr Lovejoy's fiancè. I haven't been in touch with him for over 24 hours." said Jane without taking any breath between the words.

"Yes, we are taking both of you to see them."

"Are they in prison?" asked Jane, feeling like she was going to faint.

"No, they are not, actually they are helping us."

The policeman took Jane and April to a warehouse in the back of the police station. Where Tinker, Lovejoy and Charlie were valueing a lot of antiques.

"These are all stolen goods. And before we put them into auctions we need a properl valutation." said quite proudly the police officer. "I will call all of them. I am sorry if you were concerned about them, but it was a secret thing this one."

Lovejoy smiled when he saw Jane coming into the big room.

"Lovejoy..."

"Jane..."

"I love you"

"I missed you last night"

"I thought you were in prison."

"Oh Janey."

They kissed deeply.

"At what time are you three boys finishing here?" asked Jane

"I think about 5 pm."

"We are coming back home. I left Alexandra to Mrs Wilson. So both of you are at home for dinner?" asked Jane.

"Of course."

"See you later."

Half an hour later Jane and April were both into a pub restroom. Jane was pacing up and down the hall while April was in a cubicule.

"April, have you done?" asked Jane.

"Yes. Keep it and read the result. I feel suddenly sick."

"When I knew I was pregnant with Alexandra I threw up in the sink when Lovejoy told me it was positive."

"Jane, you are not helping." said April breathing very deeply.

"April, sit down."

"oh shit."

"It's positive."

April threw up in the sink.

That night Jane and Lovejoy were lying in bed.

"You gave me a bit scare Lovejoy." said Jane

"I know, but it was a secret business. And I got good money for it."

"I love you, you are very handsome."

"Jane do you think you can try to make love, or it is to early?"

"I think tonight is the right day."

She couldn't speak anymore, they were kissing.

And they made love for the first time.

When they finished they were both on their back. Lovejoy's hand on Jane's flat belly.

"April is pregnant."

"Oh fuck."


	15. April, you are precious

"Lovejoy, what are you doing?" asked Jane, looking at Lovejoy who was sitting at her dresser with a map in his hands.

"I am looking how far is Turin from here." replied Lovejoy looking at Jane, who was propped up on her pillows.

"Why are you checking it?" asked Jane, but she already known the answer.

"I want to pick up Paolo, because I am pretty sure that it's easier talk about the baby if he is here instead of a phone call."

"I agree with you. Are you sure you want to do it for April?" asked Jane taking Alexandra from her crib and making her nurse.

"I am sure, because she is a lovely person and I want her pregnancy to be quiet with no worries."

"I agree with you Lovejoy." said Jane

"Where's April?" asked Lovejoy

"She is at the hospital. I am going to pick her up in the morning. And I have to phone Elizabeth, I want her to be examined. She looks quite bad, you know."

"Bad symptoms?" asked Lovejoy

"I think so" replied Jane.

"Go back to sleep."

"Come here, my lovely man." said Jane resting her head against Lovejoy shoulder.

In the morning Jane and Lovejoy were up quite early. In fact Mrs Wilson was surprised to see both of them in the kitchen at 6:30.

"Lady Jane, I thought you were getting up later." said the housekeeper looking at Lady Jane.

"Mrs Wilson, Lovejoy is going to Turin to pick up Paolo, so could you prepare one of the spare room?" asked politely Jane

"Why Mr Paolo is coming up?" asked Mrs Wilson.

"April needs him. And it is a surprise for her."

Mrs Wilson smiled and left the tea pot on the table.

"So are you leaving this morning?" asked Jane

"Yes, I am, I will call Paolo from the pub, I don't want Alice to hear anything about April."

"April has to tell her about the baby... she is over 8 weeks along. She will show soon."

Lovejoy kissed goodbye to Jane and he left.

"Alexandra, today you are going to stay with Mrs Wilson, behave like a good baby, I will be back after lunch. Granny will be there too, but she has something to do with a charity." said Jane, holding Alexandra in her arms, while she was giving her breakfast.

Jane headed to Cambridge after breakfast. She looked around while she was driving. The Spring was starting.

She was happy.

Jane arrived at the hospital and put her sunglasses on her head.

"Hello, may I speak with Doctor April Felsham?" asked Jane to the nurse at the front desk.

"I think that doctor Felsham just finished her shift. Let me check." after few moments she came back saying: " She is in the changing room, you can wait there." and the nurse pointed out a chair.

"Thank you." said Jane, sitting on the chair and taking her agenda from the bag.

A few moments later a pale, tired, and veru skinny April emerged from the changing room.

"Jane, why are you here?" asked April when she saw her sister in law there.

"I went to pick you up, mummy." replied Jane, looking at April

"I am well Jane, really."

April was very pale, her eyes were marked of black, she looked exhausted and she had lost weight since the test came out positive.

"April, you are not well... now we are going to see Elizabeht. I booked an appointment for you this morning." said Jane "April, are you well?"asked Jane seeing April turned green.

"Just a wave of sickness and dizziness. Jane do you excuse me one second, I have to go to the bathroom."

Jane waited for April outside the women's lavatories.

"Have you been sick?" asked Jane

"Yes, I have been sick 3 times in this shitf." running her hand in the hair

"In 24 hours?" asked Jane

"Yes"

"Did you eat, rest, drink?" asked Jane very concerned.

"I drank some water, but I couldn't stomach anything. I managed to sleep half an hour on the sofa in the doctors' lounge."

"April, you are pregnant... it isn't good. Let's see what Elizabeth will say."

April sighed, she felt sick again.

"I have brought you some crackers. And a bottle of water."

"Jane, please, I don't want to eat, I feel sick."

Jane let April alone. She slept all the time in the car. While Jane drove her to Elizabeth's surgery.

"April, here we are. Wake up, darling." said gently Jane.

"Jane, I feel sick again." said April

"Take a deep breath, usually it helps a little."

Elizabeth was waiting for them.

"Jane, April, it's a pleasure to see you both, come in, my first real appointment is at 10." said Elizabeth, while both Jane and April took a seat in Elizabeth's office.

Elizabeth sat too on her leather chair and brought a new folder out of a drawer.

And filled it with April's informations, then she looked at the younger doctor and asked: "Last period?"

"Around 10 weeks ago."

"When did you take the test?" asked Elizabeth looking at a charter on a book

"Last week."

"You are around 9 or 10 weeks along. Symptoms?"

"I feel sick, I am sick, I am not hungry, I can't sleep, I feel always dizzy, but I am also tired." said April, she felt a lump in her throat and the tears in her eyes.

"April, take a deep breath and then go on."

April breathed deeply and she went on with the list of her symptoms.

"I have swollen ankles, always."

Elizabeth put down her pen and asked: "I hope you are not doing the 24 hours shifts anymore."

"I am doing them."

"You have to quit them, you can do 12 hours shifts, but then you need at least 8 hours of good sleep."

"But I am still a junior doctor."

"Yes, you are, but your baby is more important. Now jump on the examination table."

After few minutes Elizabeth said : "Blood pressure is low, too low, your heart beat is too fast, I guess you are a bit dehydrated, then I will take a sample of blood to be sure about few things, you can pick up the results in hospital in three days. The ultrasound shows an healthy baby and the uterus is ok. You have to start to take vitamins, I will write the prescription, as well the other paper is for the hospital board, you will be on rest for 10 days."

April was on the examination table without saying a word

"April, are you ok?" asked Jane looking at April

"Sorry, I was just thinking that, I don't know, I don't know if I want this baby. I am still at Medical school, as well Paolo, I was so stupid."

Elizabeth put her arm around April's shoulder and said: " April, you are not the first junior doctor who falls pregnant, and you aren't the last one. Just enjoy your pregnancy. I am giving you something for the sickness. But promise me to rest."

"Yes, Elizabeth."

April and Jane walked a little in the street near Elizabeth's surgery.

"How do you feel sweetie?" asked Jane

"A bit better, I think I really need those 10 days off."

"I agree with you."

"I don't know how to tell mum about it."

"You will find a way, I am sure. Do you fancy something to eat?" asked Jane

"I think I could manage some dry toast and a cup of tea."

"I was the same when I was pregnant with Alexandra. Do you fell it is a boy or a girl?"

"At the moment I feel like I am on a boat in a very bad sea, I only know that I am carrying a new human being in my uterus, and I am fucking scared."

"We will manage together."

"What about Paolo?" asked April

"Don't worry about it." said Jane.

That night Lovejoy arrived in Turin around 10. He had a pizza in a little pizzeria near the Gran Madre and found a little hotel, quite cheap, but he needed it only for one night.

The following morning he was up quite early, he had phoned Paolo when he arrived in Turin the night before, and he had agreed to meet him in a bar, near the hospital.

Paolo looked tired, he had just finished a very long shift.

"Mr Lovejoy, it's a pleasure to see you." said Paolo

"Paolo, I am Lovejoy, I don't like to be called mister."

"Why are you here?"asked Paolo

"It's about April."

"What's happened to April?" asked Paolo very worry about his girlfriend

"You are going to be father, Paolo."

"What?"

"April is pregnant. And she is very scared and very lonely."

"I am having a baby?"

"Yes..."

"I will come home with you, I don't want April to deal with it alone. I will take some days off."

At 11 that morning Lovejoy and Paolo were leaving Turin to go to Felsham. Paolo had taken 2 weeks off.

"Lovejoy... I am sorry about all the troubles we are giving you, I know that you and Jane are very busy." said Paolo

"Paolo, it's ok. I want to help you and April because when Jane was pregnant and heartbroken you both helped her. And April really needs you, more than Jane or than her mother."

"Does she tell her mum about the baby?"

"Not yet."

"She should, I am sure her mum would help her throught it." said Paolo

The same morning at Felsham Hall

Mrs Wilson got ready a guest room and then she headed into town for some errands.

Jane went with Eric and Tinker to an auction with little Alexandra.

Alice spent the morning tidying some old pictures in some boxes when she saw April heading to the kitchen.

"Hello mummy, are you awake?" asked Alice

"Mummy?"

"You are pregnant, aren't you?"

"I am mum, and I am bloody scared." said April sitting on the rug near her mother resting her head on her shoulder.

"It will be allright, April, I promise. We will love this child as we all love Alexandra. Don't worry."

"Mum, I am not married, I barely work and now the baby."

"April, shhh, relax. We are a big family and nobody will be left alone... how do you feel?"

"Like seasickness."

"I remember that sensation. Toast and tea?" asked Alice helping her daughter up and leading her to the kitchen

"Yes, mum, thank you."

"Why are you crying?" asked Alice, looking at April

"I don't know..."

"Come here."

Alice hugged tightly April, she cried on her mum's shoulder, but she felt better after that. Her mum was happy about the baby. But she missed Paolo.

When Jane came home with Alexandra she spotted Alice in the garden walking alone .

"So Jane, Alexandra will have a little cousin."

"April told you?" asked Jane

"No, I just looked at her last night at dinner and I was sure about it."

"She is a bit worry and scared."

"We will help her throught it."

"Yes, we will."

"By the way, where is Lovejoy?"

"He went to Turin to pick up the future daddy."

Alice smiled and hugged Jane and then picked up Alexandra from the pram saying: "You won't be for a very long time the littlest in this house."

Jane was happy that April's pregnancy wasn't a secret anymore.

Lovejoy and Paolo arrived at Felsham Hall at midnight.

Jane was still working in her atelier, with Alexandra sleeping on her left arm.

April was sleeping on the sofa, she had fallen asleep while she was reading a medical journal.

Alice was already sleeping in her room.

Jane ran down the stairs to hug Lovejoy.

"Where's April?" asked Paolo, he was very concerned. He wanted to hug her girlfriend to be sure that she was ok.

"She is on the sofa, I think she is sleeping."

Lovejoy and Jane went to the kitchen to have a cup of tea together and to let the young couple to have a chat together.

"April." said Paolo

"Five more minutes, please." replied April

"April, love, it's Paolo." said him, kissing her neck.

"Paolo" said April, waking up completely.

Paolo put his hand on April's tummy and said: "Now, we go to sleep, tomorrow we will talk about the three of us."

"Paolo"

She kissed him and hugged him.

"I am here, I won't leave you. Neither of you."

Jane looked at Lovejoy, who was smiling.

"I think we have done a good job today, with those two." said Jane

"I agree with you Janey, shall we go to bed?" asked Lovejoy

"Yes, darling."

Jane and Lovejoy fell asleep immediately that night, while in the other bedroom, April and Paolo were talking about their future, about the nursery and about the names for the babies.

"I love you" said Paolo

"I love you too" replied April

"You don't have to be scared, I will be right here for you" said Paolo

"I am so lucky... because you love me, mum, Jane and Lovejoy love me too."

"You are precious April Felsham, don't forget it."


End file.
